When Angels Fall
by Pagan Twylight
Summary: Rescued from a System Lord where she was held and tortured, Sam collapses and is taken by Jacob and MartoufLantash to the Tok'Ra Tunnels. Daniel also goes. Working through her ordeal she gains a new pet and a newold love. Pairings: SamMartouf
1. Seeing the Truth 1 WAF

**Disclaimer**: All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment, not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real person, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

**Rating:** R - rated. Deals with rape and its aftereffects.

**Special events**: Sam gets a new pet.

**Status:** complete

**Author:** Pagan Twylight

_**Author's Note:** This is a love story. It deals with the aftereffects of rape and how it can affect a woman's mental health. It is a story about Martouf/Lantash and Sam and how they cope and build a relationship, but it is also a story of the love between friends, as we see Daniel and Sam's deep caring for one another, and the lengths to which Daniel will go to help Sam. I've tried to add some humor, so that it's not all angst. I hope you enjoy it. _

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**_Won Second Place 2005 Isis Award_**

**_Won First Place 2005 Stargate Fan Awards in Both Best Romance and Best Angst._**

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_"Italics" – Symbiote-Host communication _

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**_When Angels Fall_**

_Chapter One_

_Seeing the Truth_

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Narim stood in the shadows of the building and watched the couple walking in the formal gardens. It did not take genius to tell that they were in love. Very much in love. He sighed softly on the evening air. He had been sent to get them, but now he hated to intrude; he did not want to have to disturb them, neither did he want to cause himself more pain by observing the beautiful blond Major and the other man who loved her, up close. 

Reaching the end of the garden, the couple turned and headed back toward the building. Martouf looked down at Samantha and suddenly knew he must do as Lantash had been urging for months. He must say something to her, let her know at least of his _affection_ for her. With this thought in mind, he took a deep breath.

"Samantha," he managed to say, before his throat closed up. What was Lantash doing that he was not helping here? _"I am just as nervous as you are. Try again and I will pay more attention to your bodily functions, than to what you are saying. Or not saying, as the case seems to be,_" Lantash assured him.

"Yes?" She turned slightly toward him.

"Samantha, I, that is, Lantash and I, we feel that we must tell you of some of our feelings," he began softly. "I, we, have great feelings of affection for you. We have both come to care for you very much. We know you are still trying to decide if you have any feelings for us other than those given you by Jolinar. I, we, want you to know that we understand and are willing to wait while you sort your feelings out. We only wished to assure you of our growing feelings for you. Moreover, we are sure they do not involve Jolinar in any way. We have become very fond of you, Samantha."

"I don't know what to say. I'm very fond of you, also. And that is Samantha Carter talking, not Jolinar." Sam ducked her head to hide the tears. Fondness and affection were a long way from what she felt for this man.

Hearing the crunch of footsteps coming toward them, she looked up, grateful for both the interruption and the diversion that would allow her to control herself, before Martouf noticed the tears waiting to fall. Turning her head slightly, she quickly brushed her cheeks, as Narim garnered Martouf's attention. She did not see the quick look he shot her way as he engaged the Tok'Ra in conversation.

"I have been sent to let you know that you are wanted in the council chamber. The girl, Taira, has been released from the Goa'uld that took her and she wishes to thank you both. Without you, she would still be in slavery. Her sister, Serata, is undergoing the procedure now, and we should know soon, if it was successful."

"I'm glad," Sam said. "It was a traumatic experience for them. I'm glad the team and the Tok'Ra got all of us out of there."

Sam tried to block the time she had spent as a _guest_ of the minor system lord, Gamtesh, but visions of the week and a half spent in his stronghold kept flashing through her mind. Martouf stared down at her, as she turned pale.

"What is it, Samantha?" He asked anxiously.

"They were all raped, repeatedly. We should go in and see how she's doing. Has she decided what she wishes to do? Her people are not as technologically advanced as some, but neither are they," she looked squarely at Narim, and smiled slightly, "Primitive."

Smiling fully at her, Narim said in his soft, quiet way, "Never will you forgive Omac for calling your people that. He has changed his mind and wording, you know, and adopted the kinder term, young, from the Nox. He truly respects Daniel's, and your, actions in whisking us away. He is aware of the risks you all ran in standing up to your government in such a way, and he has never forgotten." Narim said, as they all walked towards the buildings.

"I'm glad. We tried to do what we could, although Colonel O'Neill and I had to be very careful."

"He knows and, if he had been in the city, he would have been here to tell you himself. It is unfortunate that he has been called away. He would truly like to see all of you," Narim said, as he smiled at her and opened the door to the building that they might go inside.

"As for Taira and her sister, they have elected to join the people of Argos. The Argosians can use their skills, so it will be a beneficial pairing for both parties. Taira and her sister have never known a land of plenty that does not take a great deal of labor to bring forth its fruits. The Argosians, as their population increases and ages, are going to need more people to teach them how to sow, reap, and generally grow as a people. It will, I believe, be a good match. And the Argosians are a kind people, as are those of the Land of Light."

Holding up his hand to Samantha, he continued, "Omac was in much distress at the time. For us, the people of the Land of Light, would have been a disaster, but for younger races, their world is a paradise and they are indeed kind to take in refugees of the Goa'uld. My point, though, was that the Argosians will do what they can to help the girls to heal after what they have been through, if only by being kind to them and loving them."

"You're right, of course, and they'll do well there I think. The people there are, as you say, very nice and sweet," Sam agreed.

"I do not believe I know these peoples," Martouf said, as they paused to open another door.

"Oh, well, remind me to tell you about them. Or," she grinned, "You could ask the Colonel to tell you about his two week stay there."

As they entered the room, a girl of no more than sixteen, launched herself at Samantha, crying and laughing at the same time. "Oh, Sam, it is gone, it is gone." Sam folded her in her arms and hugged her, "I'm glad, Taira. How are you doing otherwise? Has Daniel been taking care of you?" She asked gently, as she looked over the girl's head to Daniel, who shrugged and shook his head. Evidently, he had accomplished little in getting the girl to accept being around a man without flinching. Sam was having a little trouble with it occasionally herself.

As Martouf caught the look of sympathy on Daniel's face, as it was directed not only at the girl, but also at Sam, he stiffened beside her. They were raped repeatedly, she had said. Only now did he realize she had been speaking of the girls, but could have been speaking of herself. He felt as if a knife had been stuck into his ribs, and he could not breath, thinking about what had to have happened to his beautiful Samantha. No Goa'uld into inflicting that type of torture and pain would have passed up a chance to have her. He closed his eyes for a moment against the nausea he felt at what had happened to her. Opening them, his eyes caught Daniel's, who nodded his head slightly.

Lantash took over to allow Martouf some time to assimilate what he had already realized, the confirmation from Daniel all that had been needed. They had known, of course, that she had been tortured. She still bore the bruises and the chaffing from her bonds. He only wished he had been aware at the time. He would have killed a few more Jaffa and made Gamtesh's death slower and more agonizing.

He must remain calm for Martouf, who had not realized until this second. Lantash sighed, and turned to try to soothe him, while the conversation flowed around them. He felt Daniel come to stand beside him, as Samantha moved to the other side of the room with the young girl.

That it had happened at all had been a fluke. From what they could piece together from Samantha's jumbled memories, she had fallen and been knocked unconscious. She had woken up a prisoner of Gamtesh. Her team had not even realized she was not behind them until it was to late. It had taken a week and a half to mount a rescue mission. The girls and women she had befriended were grateful for the rescue, but these two especially so, as Samantha had insisted they take them and get the Tollan to help them. They had only been hosts for a day or so before the rescue attempt, and Samantha had formed an attachment to them before they were taken.

As if reading his thoughts, Daniel said, "I know. Jack, Teal'c, and I've all felt the guilt, believe me. It was all so simple and so unnecessary. We still find it hard to believe that none of us were aware that she tripped, and we didn't realize she wasn't still bringing up the rear until it was too late. We didn't know she wasn't behind us."

"If Jack had allowed it, I'd have gone back for her then and there and, of course, I'd have been captured and probably be dead by now. It's a shame we couldn't have saved more of the people, but the few we did get out were worth it to me. And these two girls were the only two taken as hosts."

Lantash nodded and then cleared his throat to ask in a near whisper, "Has she spoken of it at all? Do you know how _bad _for lack of a better word, it was?"

Also speaking in a low quiet tone, so as not to be overheard by those in the group next to them, Daniel said, "She's not had time to talk to anyone, and since she appears, at least outwardly, to be alright, the military is almost ignoring it. She's set to see a psychiatrist when we get back. A woman, not McKenzie," he said, with satisfaction in his voice. Daniel had still not forgotten or forgiven McKenzie for assuming he was nuts, instead of looking for an alien influence, for his own bizarre behavior after a mission once.

"And this psychiatrist, she will be able to help her?" Lantash asked almost harshly, as he remembered the mental trauma their own agents had been through on many assignments. Their healers had become quite adept at helping them with the aftereffects of it.

"I don't know. Sam's pretty self-contained. She may not let the woman get close enough to help her. Only time will tell. We'll just have to watch her for signs of depression, you know, not sleeping, not eating, all of that," Daniel said, his voice matter of fact.

"That is unacceptable," Lantash hissed, furiously. "She must not be allowed to become this way before something is done." The visual image Daniel's words brought to mind did nothing to reassure him that she would be properly taken care of.

"Hey, I don't like it any better than you do, but if Sam won't cooperate with the Doc. there isn't much we can do. She has to be willing to get help before we can help her, and sometimes, that takes time after something like this. Especially, for someone as self sufficient as Sam. She's going to be dealing with feelings of inadequacy because being a soldier, she'll feel she failed, that she shouldn't have been taken prisoner. There may even be some feelings that she deserves what happened because she got captured. It's a very complex situation, Lantash. We can't force her to tell us what happened or tell us how she feels. Unless and until she does, our hands are kind of tied. Once she starts to show symptoms that make her unfit for duty, then we can force her into some heavy-duty therapy. Not before," Daniel said, defensively.

"Is Jacob aware of what occurred?" Lantash asked, tersely.

"I don't know; I just know that other than confirming it happened, Sam has refused to talk about it, and asked us not to either. If you hadn't realized it yourself, I wouldn't have said anything to you," Daniel replied.

"She did not request that I not speak of it, Dr. Jackson, and I feel I must at least inform Jacob. The Tok'Ra have seen this in our own agents when they are captured and tortured. Our healers are quite adept at managing the aftereffects. If you do not think your own people will be of much help to her, until she has suffered for weeks or months, it might be wise to accept our help." Lantash looked directly at Daniel.

"Jack would fight you," Daniel said softly. "But, if Jacob is in favor, I'll support the suggestion; I'll even help to convince him, but Sam herself will probably fight it."

"I am sorry, but standing here I could not help, but hear your conversation." Both men looked startled at Narim's sudden statement; they had forgotten he was still standing with them. "Could you not simply have her father request her company, a break after her ordeal, and once with the Tok'Ra; perhaps, it could be worked around too gently and tactfully."

They looked at him for a moment, before looking at each other. They nodded in unison. It would work if Jacob would go along with the plan, and Daniel couldn't see him not agreeing with something so important. Sam might just go for it, as she hated being around when she knew people were talking about her and what she had experienced. He could work on her, he knew how to convince her of some things and this, he was suddenly determined, would be one of them.

"That's an excellent idea, Narim. I'm kinda surprised you'd go for anything the least underhanded, but I'm glad you did."

"I do not believe it is underhanded, Daniel, simply expedient. No doubt, her father would enjoy her company, and she could use the break from people talking about her, as they will no doubt do. If she happens to be soothed and healed while she is there, so much the better." He explained quietly.

Narim was well aware that he had just delivered his _Sher'mau,_ his angel, into the hands of his rival. Looking at her sadly from across the room, he realized that his angel had fallen. When Angels fall, they can be injured, and it was more important that she be healed, than that his heart not be broken. Bowing to the two men, he made his way to Samantha and the girl, Taira. Speaking softly, as he always did, he soon had her smiling shyly.

As the door opened, the sister, Serata, came slowly into the room accompanied by one of the Tok'Ra women. Seeing her sister, she came towards them a smile on her face for her sister. Seeing the man standing there, her steps faltered, but she approached anyway. She was a beautiful girl; Black hair and green eyes were paired with white skin to make an arresting picture. Perhaps in her middle twenties, she was much older than her sister was.

As she joined the group, she turned to Narim, "I must thank you and your people for all you have done for us. We will always be grateful that such as you are here and able to help such as us." Her voice was quiet and soft, in the manner of Narim's. She turned to her sister, who made room for her to sit next to her and Samantha.

"I also wish to thank you, Samantha, for without you, we would not have escaped. I have told your Colonel already, how grateful I am that you insisted we be rescued, also. He is a good man, I think."

Sam colored and nodded to her, "You're very welcome, Serata. I'm just really glad it worked out for you, and I'm sorry it ever happened to you."

Serata smiled and said, "I do believe you, for you have proven that your heart is good and that you will do without thought or regret that which most would shun."

Talk amongst them soon became general. Narim had placed himself between Samantha and the room and he proceeded to talk of Argos and the Argosian people to the girl, the young woman, and Samantha. Across the room, Lantash and Daniel stood watching, to make sure Narim managed to stay and talk to them. While he placed himself between the room and Samantha, they approached Sam's dad. Before they reached him, Daniel said, "That's taking a lot of courage."

Frowning at him, Lantash asked, "Of what do you speak, Dr. Jackson?"

"Do you think you could, maybe, after all this time, make it Daniel? And I was speaking of Narim. He just handed Sam to you. A pretty generous gesture, if you ask me," Daniel said.

Lantash stopped walking and touched Daniel's arm, "What exactly do you mean, Daniel?" He asked, as he acquiesced to Daniel's request.

Daniel too stopped and turned back to Lantash, "I mean that he's in love with her, and has been since the first time he laid eyes on her."

"Why would he suggest this plan if that is true?" Lantash asked.

"Because he loves her enough to want her to be happy and healthy, mentally and physically. I just hope you love her as much." After dropping his bombshell, Daniel turned and walked quickly to the group in which Sam's dad stood. They wouldn't have much more time as the sister had been brought in. Soon, they would all be leaving.

"Jacob, we need to have a discussion about Samantha's well-being." Lantash said quietly, so as not to be overheard, as Daniel talked to the Tollans who were in the group. Looking swiftly at him, and seeing the grimness, as well as the fact that it was Lantash who was speaking, he glanced at Daniel, and agreed.

Daniel excused them all on some pretext or other, and walked a few feet away, but not so far that Narim was no longer between them and Sam.

Lantash cleared his throat and looked at Daniel, who said, "You know, Jacob, Sam said the sisters and some of the others were raped repeatedly."

"Yeah, I know. I'm sure she did everything she could to help them. Is it bothering her a lot?" Jacob asked, curiously.

"Jacob," Lantash said, quietly, "Samantha is one of the _others._

Jacob stood as if turned to stone, and Selmak came forward, "I was not going to bring it to his attention just yet, Lantash. Why have you done so?"

"Because the Tau'ri do not have the ability to deal with the consequences that we do," Lantash replied, bluntly.

"Um, it's not that we don't have the ability to deal with it, so much as it's; will Sam allow anyone on base to help her cope? I don't think she will, because she's already fighting having to speak to the psychiatrist about it. I don't think she'll really cooperate, and by the time we realize how badly it's affecting her, she'll have suffered alone, perhaps, for weeks or longer. The trauma of being held prisoner and tortured will be bad enough. This will be an added burden for her already burdened system to cope with. Yeah, I know she appears to be coping fine, until you look close and see that she's very pale, she lost weight while she was held and you can tell she hasn't been sleeping well, if at all."

As Jacob took control, he swore sharply and asked, "So what do you want to do about it? You both obviously have a plan or you wouldn't be here like this with someone shielding Sam from seeing us talking. Yeah, I figured that out real quick, I know. Thank Sel. It's a shame I was dead to the rest of what she must be going through."

"Do not blame yourself, Jacob, Samantha is hiding it very well. It was only a chance remark she made that led me to realize what had occurred," Lantash said.

"Okay, fine. I won't. But, that doesn't answer my question. What's the plan?" Jacob asked tersely.

"Well, um, you know, Sam hates it when she's being talked about and we thought that, since you haven't had much time with Sam lately, you could, maybe, ask her to come with you to the Tok'Ra for a while. You know, father-daughter time. Once she's there, perhaps someone with some _tact _can begin to get her to talk, or whatever it is your people do for them," Daniel murmured quickly. "We'd need to get the General's okay, but somehow, I don't think he'd protest. He knows what could happen."

"She hasn't talked to anyone about this? Not even Janet?" Jacob asked.

"Not that I know of, Jacob. Janet said that all Sam had done was confirm it, ask not to talk about it, and be relieved there weren't _consequences_."

"Perhaps, we should go back to the Tau'ri world so that you may talk to General Hammond," Lantash suggested.

"Yeah, I think I will," Jacob agreed.

"I will accompany you," Lantash stated, firmly.

"All right. But, how are we gonna explain our sudden decision to visit earth?" Jacob asked.

"Couldn't you say you wish to see your son?" Daniel asked. "I know it would mean a day or so away from Sam, but perhaps we could have Lantash and Martouf decide they want to see more of earth. Just a thought. A day or two and then the General can let Sam go with you back to your base."

"It might work, it has been a while since I've seen my grandkids. Okay, and I'll say Martouf wished to see more of earth culture, he's been bugging me, so while I'm visiting Marc, he can be shown around by Daniel and you can ask Sam to go along, or get suddenly busy or something. Or for that matter just keep him occupied on the base 'til I get back." Jacob was making plans as he went along.

"We'll think of something, Jacob, but right now, Narim is throwing looks our way, so he must be wanting us to hurry up," Daniel said. "I'm going to go find Jack and Teal'c and see if we are ready to go yet. I think Sam wants to take the girls to the Argosians before we go home though."

"In that case, Lantash and I'll go to Earth while you're doing that. It will give me a chance to talk to George alone, too."

"Okay, we'll see you there," Daniel agreed, as he started to move away.

Narim watched as the three men parted company, and then he turned back and smiled at Samantha, as he said, "I believe the ladies should gather their belongings, for it will not be long now and it will be time for you to leave.

"Narim's right," Sam said, as she rose from her seat. "Why don't you gather your things, and we'll meet back here. If I haven't found the Colonel and the rest of my team, just wait here until we come back, Okay?"

The young women nodded and went in search of their few belongings. They had very little to call their own, but the clothes they had been given to wear and the clothing, what little of it there was, that they had been wearing in the Goa'uld's harem. A place Samantha hoped never to see again. She wasn't sure which had been worse, the stinking prison and the torture or the opulent concubines quarters and the torture plus rapes. Either way, she shuddered whenever either one came to mind.

Pushing the thoughts away, she turned to Narim, "I want to thank you again, for what you've done." As she looked up at him, she wondered, not for the first time, why she couldn't have loved someone like him. Maybe she should just forget Martouf and Lantash, and concentrate on seeing if she could bring herself to love Narim.

"Walk with me, Samantha?" He asked her gently.

"All right."

"Let us go out onto the balcony. It overlooks the courtyard gardens and has a very nice view," he said, as he led her toward the doorway.

Once outside she took a breath and turned back to him, as she leaned her hip against the balustrade.

Before she could say anything, Narim spoke, "Please do not, Samantha. You have never been other than honest with me, so do not be less so with yourself. He loves you very much, as you love him. I do not know what the problem between you is, but it will work out."

Sam gasped, as his words hit her, and she turned to look out into the courtyard as she said, "Narim, he doesn't care for me that way, although you're correct and I believe I do care for him," she paused, and then whispered, "In that way."

"Samantha, I watched how he was with you in the gardens. He loves you very much. Give him some encouragement and you will see."

Sam shook her head, as she again faced him. "They are _fond_ of me and have much _affection_ for me," She told him.

Narim smiled, sadly, "Is that what he said? He is hiding his feelings to keep from being hurt. I do not know what has occurred between you; I only know what I saw. He is in love with you. Reaching out a hand, he brushed a tear from her cheek.

She laughed shortly, and said, "I don't know what's the matter with me. I cry at everything." She wiped at her cheeks.

"Perhaps your recent ordeal is to blame. Tears are not something to be ashamed of," He said, gently.

"No, but hurting someone is," she whispered.

"Samantha, you did not promise me anything, and I will always remember you, for you are _my Sher'mau_. My angel." He paused, and then taking a breath he said, "Just remember, _my Sher'mau_, that sometimes when angels fall, they, too, need help to get back up. Do not close out those who love you, and wish only to help, protect, and heal you. Let them help, so that _my Sher'mau_, can once again soar."

Hearing a slight sound, they turned toward the door to see Daniel and Martouf standing there. Narim did not know how long they had been standing there, nor did he particularly care. With a slow polite bow to them, and then another to Samantha Carter, Narim turned and walked away.

TBC


	2. Collapse 2 WAF

_**Pairing:** Sam/Martouf/Lantash, Sam/Daniel friendship_

_**Rating:** R_

_**"Italics" -** Symbiote-Host communication **

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_**When Angels Fall**_

_**Chapter two **_

_**Collapse**_

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As Narim quietly left the three of them, Samantha spun to again face the courtyard gardens. She gasped, as she choked on a sob. God, why was she so near to tears all the time? She was a soldier, an officer in the USAF. Officers and soldiers didn't cry. 

How could she bear to be causing that wonderful man this pain? As the second sob escaped her, she felt arms enfold her. She turned to find Daniel standing there. Suddenly, she was in his arms, crying. "It's okay, Sam, I've got you. You're gonna be okay, I promise."

Abruptly, she jerked away from him and spun around to face the gardens. She began to hit the balustrade with her fists. "No, it won't, it won't ever be okay again, damn it," she cried, her voice harsh with pain. Pulling her back into his arms, Daniel looked over Sam's head at Martouf and mouthed, _Jacob_. Martouf spun on his heel and took off to find his Samantha's father.

_"We stood and did nothing Lantash. Why did we not step forward and give her comfort?" _Martouf asked, feeling remorse.

"_We can confront our lack of response later, Martouf; we must find Jacob," _Lantash responded, as he focused on the task at hand.

_"He is over there," _Martouf told him, as he spotted him in a nearby group.

Walking quickly, they approached him and leaned forward to say quietly in his ear, "Samantha is crying on the balcony and," he got no further. Jacob was gone, and Martouf was left to turn and follow him back to the balcony on which they had left Daniel and Samantha.

As her strength suddenly seemed to desert her, she stopped struggling against Daniel and lay in his arms, not moving and barely seeming to breath. "Sam, Martouf went for your dad. He should be here soon. You'll be okay. I promise you will. I promise, Sam."

"I h-hurt Narim, D-Daniel, and I d-didn't m-mean to, I d-didn't w-want to, I h-had to and I d-didn't w-want to." Again, Sam was sobbing as if her heart would break. Daniel looked grim. Sam would hate hurting Narim, but she wouldn't react this way. She was, in Daniel's limited experience, completely overwrought and near the breaking point. He wondered if she'd had any sleep at all that was without nightmares. Somehow, he doubted it. As he leaned back, to look into her face, to tell her that her father would soon be there she gasped, "D-don't l-leave m-me, Daniel. P-please d-don't l-leave m-me."

"I promise I won't leave you as long as you want or need me to be there for you, Sam. I promise," Daniel quietly gave his word. He would never leave her as long as she needed him.

Thankfully, he saw Jacob approaching. Daniel kissed Sam gently and stroked her hair and back, murmuring gentle sweet nothings to try to calm her. It worked until she realized her father was there.

Sensing her father's presence, Sam turned to his arms as they came around her.

"It h-hurts, daddy, it h-hurts s-so m-much," she cried, as she began to sob so hard that she could barely breathe. Nodding to the two men to go in and take care that nothing disturbed them, he also mouthed to them, "Find out what you can." They nodded and left with the sound of Sam's sobs haunting them, for Sam didn't cry. At least, not in front of them.

The two young women were reluctant to talk at first, but when it was explained to them, the eldest turned to Daniel, having sensed that he and Samantha were very close, and indicated she would tell him privately. The others did not know what she said; Martouf only knew he had never seen Daniel look so grim, as he headed out to where Sam and Jacob were.

"Jacob," Daniel barely breathed the words so Sam wouldn't hear him over her crying, "It's worse than we thought. I'll tell you later, I'm coming with. The girls are allowing Narim to take them to Argos." With his message delivered, he melted back into the room and made sure the door was shut on the two outside. Luckily, none of them had forgotten to close it.

"Hush, baby, hush, I'm here. I'm here, Sammie, honey, I'm here," Her father crooned to her as he rocked her gently. Kissing the top of her head softly and then laying his cheek against it, he continued to murmur until her sobbing quieted and she grew limp in his arms.

"I'm s-sorry, I'm s-so s-sorry. I d-don't know w-what's wrong with m-me. Every l-little thing s-seems to set me off. B-but, this wasn't n-nothing, I m-mean it's always h-hard to h-hurt someone, but to h-hurt such a s-sweet, gentle man, I f-feel like s-such a j-jerk." Crying again, but softly this time, she remained limp in her father's arms.

"Sam, I'm taking you home with me. I don't want you to argue with me, okay? He said softly into her ear. "I just want you to come with me, no worries, no guilt trips, no sense of deserting your team. Just you, me, and time together."

Straightening, Sam shook her head, "No, I have to take the girls to Argos. I promised them I'd be there to see them through this first meeting with the little settlement, since they'll all come out to meet them. I w-won't, I can't let them down again. N-not again."

Jacob sighed, "Sam, Narim went with them. They left about ten minutes ago. Sam, why won't you tell us; why didn't you talk to Janet or…" Jacob couldn't go any farther, his own voice now suspended by tears.

"Daddy, I-I c-can't, I c-can't get c-clean. I d-didn't ever w-want you to know, n-not you, n-not Martouf or D-Daniel or anyone. I h-hate it s-so m-much." She sobbed again, as Jacob crushed her to him, tears sliding slowly down his cheeks."

"You aren't the one that's dirty, Sam, he was, but he's dead and gone. Lantash killed him, not slowly or painfully enough, but he's gone for good, and you're here and alive, beautiful, pure, and clean. And we'll always love you, no matter what. We all love you, Sam," he whispered to her softly, as she again became quiet in his arm. His voice was soft, but his face was grim. She needed sleep, even he could tell that.

He had to lean closer to hear her whisper, "No, t-they d-don't love m-me, they are _f-fond _of m-me and h-have _great affection _for m-me, but they d-don't love m-me the w-way I l-love them and they n-never w-will, n-now." He heard her sigh and closed his eyes. Damn, could it get any worse? He frowned though, because he could have sworn that Martouf and Lantash were more than _fond _of his daughter.

Jacob looked up as the door opened, and Janet Fraiser came through it, her bag in her hand. Moving swiftly, she took a syringe she had ready, and injected Sam with it.

Jerking her head around, Sam looked at her, eyes wide and red-rimmed. "W-what did you d-do, Janet, w-what did you d-do? I c-can't sleep. I c-can't. They'll c-come for m-me again if I sleep." Her voice fell to a whisper as the powerful drug took affect and she slowly went limp. Martouf stepped forward this time and swung her up and into his arms.

"I suggest we take her at once, Jacob. We do not know how long the drug will last. You are welcome to come, Dr. Fraiser, but we are taking her to the Tok'Ra base."

Janet looked as if she was about to protest, but Jacob cut her off. "Our healers work with this type of thing often, Janet. I'm the one that decided to take her home with me. If there is a problem you can tell George that I kidnapped her." Jacob's voice was tense, and it was obvious that no one was going to take his daughter from him.

Martouf turned and headed towards the Chaappa'ai, Samantha limp in his arms. The first person they ran into was Jack.

"What's going on, Jacob?" Jack asked looking from Sam, limp in Martouf's arms, to Jacob, who was behind him with Janet and Daniel.

"I'm kidnapping Sam, Daniel, and Janet. Do me a favor and don't mount a rescue mission for a few weeks at least, okay?"

Jack looked from him to Daniel to Janet and wasn't surprised when Daniel said, "I promised Sam. Janet will probably be back as soon as she gives the healers instructions on the tranquilizers. We know she can't stay away from the SGC indefinitely. However, I can, and Sam has no choice, so we'll return when we can. And if the air force wants to throw a fit, they can list her as MIA for all I care," Daniel said bluntly.

He looked at Jack, and said, "None of us were even close in our guesses." He strode after Martouf, and Jacob turned back long enough to tell Jack, "Explain to George that Sam had a breakdown and our healers are better able to deal with this with Sam's chemical differences, will you?"

Finally, Jack nodded, "Okay, and the rescue party may end up going to the wrong planet."

"Thanks, Jack, I owe you one."

"Yeah, and hey! I'll collect too." Jack hollered after him. Turning to Teal'c he said, "Well, I guess we say our good-byes and then go try to explain to the General how Carter, the Doc, and Daniel were kidnapped by the Tok'Ra."

Shaking his head, Jack turned, and the two of them headed in to do the diplomatic thing. He was surprised when High Chancellor Travell, said to him, "We truly hope that Major Carter recovers completely. No one should have to endure what she did. She will be in our thoughts." When Jack looked at her in surprise, she elaborated. "Both of the Goa'uld that were removed took great pleasure in telling us in graphic detail what had been done to both of the young woman, but more particularly to Major Carter."

"I know you think us too pacifist in some ways, Colonel, but let me assure you that while we protected the two women from the pain of the separation, no such precautions were taken for the Goa'uld. In fact, one of them did not survive the procedure. It was, of course, her own fault, for she refused to be peacefully parted from the host."

Jack looked at the High Chancellor with a new sense of respect. Some people just never stopped throwing curves at you. "Well, thanks, but you know we probably need that information, so that we can do all that we can to help Carter.'

"It was given to Dr. Jackson before he left. Both from Serata and then from the attendants that were present during the procedure, when we realized that Major Carter had finally given in to the trauma of what she had to endure. I am sure that Dr. Jackson can be trusted to see to it that she has every care and attention that is needed. They are very close, are they not? And, of course, the Tok'Ra will take great care of her." Seeing Jack's questioning look, she continued, "For her father's sake, if for no other reason, Colonel."

"Oh, yeah, I'm sure you're right. I wonder if the Nox could help her?" He looked at Chancellor Travell, a question in his eyes.

"We will contact them to see, Colonel, and if they can, we will send them to the base where Major Carter is, ah, staying." She smiled slightly and bowed her head. They had been walking toward the Stargate. Teal'c input the glyphs, activated a wormhole, and sent their IDC. "If we find out anything we will let you know, Colonel." She bowed to him and turned to Teal'c. "Good day, Teal'c. We will look forward to seeing you both again."

Nodding goodbye, the two men stepped into the event horizon. At least one of them was wondering how he was going to explain to his commanding officer how he managed to allow the Tok'Ra to kidnap his archeologist, his chief medical officer, and his 2IC. Stepping onto the ramp, he wasn't surprised to see said General waiting.

"Where are Dr. Fraiser, Dr. Jackson, and Major Carter?"

"It appears, General Hammond, that they have been adult-stolen from us by the Tok'Ra," Teal'c announced calmly.

"He means kidnapped, Sir. We should probably go into your office for this."

Nodding once, the General headed out the door toward his office, "Adult-stolen, Teal'c? That's a new spin on an old word."

Entering his office, he closed the door and said, "All right, now, do you think you could tell me what has happened? When Dr. Jackson called and asked for Dr. Fraiser, she said that Major Carter had taken ill? Care to tell me what's going on?"

"I'm not completely sure, myself, Sir. Teal'c and I'd gone with some of their security people to look at a TER they have, and we weren't there. From what we learned from Jacob and Chancellor Travell, it seems that Carter's not been talking about some nasty things that happened during her captivity. I don't know what it was, but from the look on Jacob's face and Daniel's it must have been pretty bad."

"Anyway, evidently, Carter finally caved, and pretty much collapsed. Daniel called Fraiser, Jacob informed me he was taking his daughter to be treated by the healers at the Tok'Ra base, and because Janet had given Carter an injection, they took her. Daniel had promised Carter he'd stay with her, so basically, Jacob said he didn't care how you listed them, MIA, captured by the Tok'Ra, whatever, he was taking her and he'd return her when she was well."

"We can expect Fraiser back when she feels she can leave Carter in their hands and Daniel will come back when he feels Carter is recovering and no longer needs him."

"Very well, Colonel. That will be all."

"Sir?"

"General Hammond shook his head, "Jack, I'll list Major Carter on extended medical leave due to her recent capture and torture. Dr. Jackson is staying with her because he's a close friend who seems to be able to get her to talk to him. End of story."

"Well, that's good, Sir. I told Jacob the rescue party would be late. Glad to hear I was telling the truth."

"You were. Take some time and get some rest. If they aren't back in a couple of weeks there are plenty of others you can use as temps on your team until they return."

"Thank you, Sir." Jack and Teal'c headed toward the mess hall, and Jack turned to Teal'c. "Sometimes ya just never know. Now, how about you tell me what you think happened that made Carter go off like that."

* * *

God, were they coming for her again? It was so quiet. She could hear quiet breathing near by, but at least it wasn't one of the other women sobbing in pain and terror. She wondered if she could move. Had they used the sarcophagus on her again? She wasn't really in pain, so they must have. She didn't want to open her eyes; they hurt. She frowned. Usually when she came out, she felt fine. She didn't feel good at all right now, her eyes felt swollen and her nose was stuffy as if she'd fallen asleep crying. So, what else was new? Slowly she opened her eyes a little at a time and attempted to move her head. A little soft light was reflecting off the crystal walls. Crystal walls? 

Sam sat up suddenly and looked frantically around her, trying to figure out where she was. What had happened to her? She watched in fear as a man stood and came toward her. She couldn't help it; she shrank back from him and grasped the light blanket tightly against herself. Blanket? What did she have on? It was some type of lightweight gown.

"Samantha?" Martouf questioned gently, "You are all right, I promise you. Your father brought you here to the base. You are on the Tok'Ra base."

Sam gasped, "Martouf, I'm sorry, I didn't know who—" her voice broke and she grasped her lower lip between her teeth. Getting her voice under control, she said, more calmly, "What happened? I don't remember exactly what happened. We were on the Tollan world, and I was talking to Narim, and he—" she closed her eyes as the events began to coalesce into a firm picture. As she wrapped her arms around herself and began to rock, Martouf sat gingerly on the edge of the sleeping platform. She looked at him with tears in her eyes and as they spilled over, she angrily brushed them away.

"I hurt him," she whispered hoarsely. She moaned as she repeated it, "I hurt him. I never meant to hurt him."

Martouf slowly held his arms out to Sam, but she shook her head. "No, no don't touch me. I'm a fallen angel; Narim said so. His fallen angel." Her brow furrowed. "I can't remember what else he said," She muttered almost inaudibly, "Something about 'angels falling and someone getting hurt. They get dirty when they fall." Looking down she began to rub her hands together, and then she said, "My hands are dirty, I'm dirty. I need to take a long bath, scrub myself, and see if I can get clean. Martouf, where can I take a bath, please?"

"Samantha, you are not dirty. You are clean and you have slept for several hours. Your Dr. Fraiser is here with you, Jacob, and Daniel. Do you remember Daniel promising to come with you?"

Sam grasped his out held hand. "Daniel, yes, I want Daniel. Please, please, where is Daniel?" Biting her lip, she seemed to force herself to become calm. "I'm sorry. I'm being stupid, silly, and childish. I'm tired; perhaps I should try to sleep some more. You won't go, will you?"

"No, my Samantha, I will not leave you as long as you wish me to remain."

"When you offered to hold me, did you mean it?" Sam asked hesitantly.

"Yes, I will hold you as long as you wish." Martouf said to her softly, as Sam moved over on the platform to give him room to sit more comfortably if he chose. He surprised and alarmed her a little when instead of sitting, he turned and lay down next to her. He felt her stiffen, and he at once murmured softly to her. Eyeing him, she slowly lay back down to lay next to him. Feeling her relax, he moved to take her into his arms. Again, she became tense.

"I am not going to hurt you in any way, Samantha, nor am I going to use your body against your will. You will simply lie next to me and allow me to hold you and keep you safe while you sleep. Our healers have been told what has occurred, and one of the things they suggested was that we make sure that someone is with you and that you are always assured that you are safe with us. No one will come to get you while I am here, Samantha. You may sleep as long as you wish and no one, no one at all, will take you from me. I promise you, my love."

Sam had been slowly relaxing into his arms and, as she became drowsy once again, she said softly, "Am I _your love_? Really your love and not just your _fondness_?" She questioned him to his surprise.

"Yes, you are. My love, always." Martouf whispered into her hair, but Sam was already asleep. Martouf tried to relax and empty his mind of the images that kept reappearing every time he closed his eyes.

Opening them, he sighed. If he was having this much trouble, how much worse was it for Samantha? He had only heard a verbal description; she had lived the nightmare. He did not think he had ever seen Daniel Jackson look murderous until today.

There was no doubt in his mind that if Lantash had not already killed him, there would be a mission containing the three of them to hunt down and kill Gamtesh.

As far as he knew, none of their agents had ever been put through what Samantha had endured. They were not sure how much help they were going to be, but they were doing everything they could. They had talked to some of the women who had been through a similar experience and each of them had been appalled and apprehensive about how long it would take Samantha to heal.

As one of them had put it, "To this day I have not healed well, I have a very bad scar, and in some situations, it takes everything I have not to give in to the fear and loathing the memories engender. Do not expect her to bounce back from this in a few days. It will take weeks before she can function on a minimal level, months before she can be marginally normal and able to react in a normal manner."

"It is a shame she is not Tok'Ra, for the symbiote helps a great deal in managing to bury the images. It is too bad she does not wish to be blended." Martouf sighed again. It _was_ a shame she did not wish to blend, for then he would have her near always as well as giving her help through this. He and Jacob had discussed it briefly and both agreed that they would not do that to her unless she agreed, and that was unlikely. Not only that, but both Daniel and Janet had pointed out that just mentioning it could put added stress on her and bring up other unpleasant memories from her sojourn as Jolinar's host.

Burying his face in the sweet fragrance of her hair, his arms tightened around her almost convulsively. He would do anything, anything he could, to help her.

Lying quietly, he was almost dozing himself when he realized that he was no longer alone. He opened his eyes and put his finger to his lips to indicate that she was sleeping, and they should be quiet. Jacob nodded that he understood, and watched as Martouf slowly and gently untangled himself from Sam and eased himself away from her. Getting up, he moved soundlessly to the door. Once in the hall, he leaned against the wall, and said to Jacob, "She woke up and was very disoriented. She seemed better once she realized where she was and that I was not one of them coming for her again. Do the healers think any of this is withdrawal from the sarcophagus? From what Daniel said, they used it on her several times a day."

"I wouldn't doubt it. The sarcophagus is addictive, we know that, and yes, she was in it several times a day from what Daniel found out. On the plus side, she was in need of it, and I personally believe that when it is truly needed, it is not as addictive." Jacob rubbed the back of his neck. "Listen, are you all right to stay with her for a while longer? Both Daniel and I are going to try to get some sleep, although every time I close my eyes…" he sighed, as he let his sentence trail into silence.

"I have no intention of leaving Samantha anymore than absolutely necessary, Jacob. I promised her I would sleep with her and protect her. I don't want her awakening and finding me gone."

"Don't hurt her anymore, Martouf. If you don't love her, then turn her care completely over to Daniel and myself," Jacob suddenly said, bluntly.

Startled, Martouf looked at him blankly for a moment. "But, I do love her Jacob, you know that. I told her so, today, on the Tollan world." Martouf frowned at Jacob.

"Well, she's under the impression that you're _fond _of her and have an _affection _for her. You have _an affection _for your dog, and you're _fond _of steak or French fries, not a woman." Seeing Martouf's puzzled expression, he said before he could ask, "Never mind. Just see that you don't hurt her. If you don't or can't tell her and reassure her that you love her, then leave her alone and we'll take over full time from here on."

Looking pensive for a moment, Martouf said, "She asked for Daniel when she awoke. She questioned me earlier about my fondness. I was trying not to pressure her, since she is confused as to whose feelings she is feeling, hers or Jolinar's. It is difficult to know how quickly to press her."

"Well, at this point in time, she needs to know that you love her no matter what, that you aren't disgusted by her. I guess that's a thought that re-occurs for these women, the feeling that they'll disgust the men in their lives, and they'll consider them soiled. She'll need a lot of reassurance about that Martouf, and if either you or Lantash place any blame on her at all or feel in any way that she's less than she ever was, she'll know."

Jacob watched his eyes flare and heard the deeper tones of Lantash when he said, "Samantha is in no way to blame for this. It was nothing she could have prevented. I do not see how she could think we would blame her for being knocked unconscious and taken prisoner. I have no disgust or blame to lay on her, Jacob, and neither does Martouf."

"I do think, though, that perhaps I should allow Daniel to spend time alone with her. I believe they could be more than friends. They are very close. He immediately knew that something was wrong and went to her, while Martouf and I simply stood not knowing what to do. It made us realize that, perhaps, we would not be the best mates for her, despite the love we have for her. Daniel is much more sensitive to her needs than we."

"Daniel has known her much longer than you, too. You were shocked because you've never seen Sam like that. Hell, I don't know if _I've _ever seen her like that, not even when her mother was killed was she like that. I have a feeling that Daniel has a way with those types of situations. He's pretty sensitive himself, you know, and this is really upsetting him."

"Does he love her, Jacob?" Lantash asked, even though he was not sure he wanted to know the answer.

"Yes, but I don't think it's in that way. Jack and Teal'c love her, too, but neither one would want to be bonded to her. I think you do."

"And Daniel? Does he wish to become Samantha's mate?"

"No," answered a voice nearby, "He doesn't. But, he does love her very much and always will. Just not in that way. Sam's special, she a brilliant woman, an adept soldier, a loving and caring person. There's a lot to love about Sam, but I don't love her as a man loves a woman. Like I told you earlier, I hope you do, because if you hurt her, then I'd have to hurt you, and I really don't want to attempt to do that," Daniel said, with a sardonic look at Lantash.

"I am glad to hear that, Dr., ah, Daniel, because I do love her."

"Good. Now, the reason I'm here. Janet said that if she woke up again, we should give her another injection. She wants her to sleep at least twelve to fourteen hours. She's been asleep what six? Has she awakened at all? Do you know how to give an injection?"

"Yes, she awoke a little while ago and then returned to sleep. No, I do not. You can show me how?"

"I'll send Janet down. She only wants to use them when we have to and she's shown the healers how to use them. I guess you guys have some stuff that Janet thinks will work, too. Janet's satisfied that your people know more than enough to handle this, so she's heading back soon. I'm staying."

"She asked for you earlier, but she fell back to sleep, and I felt that was the more important thing for the moment," Lantash explained to Daniel.

"Okay, well, I'm going to go get some rest myself, if I can shut my eyes and not see those damned visions their graphic explanations have left in my mind. I'm not surprised Sam hasn't been sleeping, if that's what happens when she sleeps," Daniel said, his voice dark with emotion.

"I will stay with her for now. Go ahead and sleep. We will each need to rest at some point, if we are to keep someone with her at all times," Lantash said firmly.

Nodding, Daniel yawned, and said, "Okay. If you need me, you know where they put me. I'll come if she wants me, so don't hesitate to call me."

"Same goes for me, Lantash. Call me if you need to. I'll be here ASAP."

"I will call if you are needed. Thank you." Obviously listening, he said, "I believe I hear Samantha stirring, I must go." He watched the other two men walk away and then turned to re-enter the room. In the dim light, he was unprepared, for the scene that greeted him. Samantha stood with a knife raised and as she plunged it toward him, he barely managed to deflect a direct hit to his heart. He never heard her leave the room.

TBC


	3. Escape 3 WAF

"_Italics" – Host-Symbiote communications_

* * *

_**When Angels Fall**_

**_Chapter Three _**

_**Escape**_

* * *

Sam's head hurt. She didn't know where she was, but she knew she had escaped from someone, and she had blood on her dress and her hands. Why was she wearing a dress? Suddenly remembering the concubine's quarters, she shuddered. The dress didn't look like something they had given her to wear, but that didn't mean anything, did it? And, where in the hell was she? Finding herself in a small dark room, she found a corner and slowly slid down the wall, whimpering as if she were a wounded animal. Wrapping her arms around herself, she began to rock slowly. 

Soon, she had calmed enough to pull herself upright and slowly make her way to the door. No one was around, for it was dark, and she made her way stealthily down first one corridor and then another. This looked like the Tok'Ra tunnels, but that couldn't be right. She was imprisoned in Gamtesh's stronghold. There was a ring transporter here somewhere, she had seen them use it to leave the dungeons where they left their prisoners to die and rot. Suddenly, she sensed it. Moving forward, she barely managed to activate the rings before she heard someone coming. They were yelling in Goa'uld, so she didn't understand more than Kree! and, a word that she now knew meant stop.

Reaching the surface, she looked quickly around. There was only sand and some scrub, but there were some rock formations in the distance. She didn't remember the planet looking like this. She remembered trees. Had they taken her somewhere else? Why couldn't she remember? She took off running toward the rocks in the distance, and then realized she was leaving a very visible trail. Well, it couldn't be helped for now. They'd be right behind her, but if she could make the rocks, she could lose them, at least she hoped she could.

She had been walking for what felt like hours. After reaching the rocks, she had continued straight ahead after being sure to leave a trail going in a ninety-degree direction.

She would have to find shelter before the sun rose. If it was a desert planet, it was probably hot, although it was cool at the moment. For a while, she had been able to hear the searchers looking for her, but their voices had faded away, and she was very sure she was alone.

Alone and unarmed except for this knife that she couldn't remember getting. Nor did she know, for sure, where the blood was from. She remembered a man entering and coming for her, and she thought she had stabbed him. She just couldn't think. She needed to rest, and she realized she needed to find water. Well, if she was going to die, she'd rather it was out here than in the prison. She had failed those poor girls though. She'd think of something tomorrow, for now she needed rest and shelter. She'd just have to keep walking until she found it.

* * *

Janet Fraiser made her way to the chamber they'd put Sam in. She was very worried after listening to some of the things Jacob had told her. It sounded like they were dealing with a full-blown case of PTSD, at the very least. She wasn't ruling out other things, either. Sam could have a head injury that hadn't shown up when they ran the tests on her. Anything could be going on. The sleep deprivation alone could bring on some bizarre symptoms and actions. Janet hoped they'd managed to stop it before it reached that stage. Entering the darkened room, Janet tripped and fell. 

She scrambled up and found what passed for a light switch for the Tok'Ra, and the room was bathed in a soft glow. She was on her knees beside Martouf within seconds, kneeling in the spreading pool of blood. Ripping the tunic open, she found the stab wound and grabbed the blanket on the bed. Folding it, she pressed it against the wound to help stem the bleeding. She hoped Lantash was still aware and helping internally. Hearing people running outside in the hall, she yelled for someone to come in the room.

When they did, she said, "Get a healer. Martouf has been stabbed, and Major Carter is missing. Go, go," she urged, as she often did in the SGC. Grabbing her bag with one hand, she moved her knee to hold the makeshift dressing in place and used both hands to open and find what she needed. Finding the ampoule, she broke it and waved it under Martouf's nose. When he started coughing and gasped a few words in Goa'uld, she was glad to know that Tok'Ra responded to the stimulant in the prescribed manner.

"It was unnecessary to gas me, Dr. Fraiser. I was about to take control and talk to you," Lantash stated firmly.

"Yeah, well, I didn't know if you were all right or not. Martouf obviously isn't. It's a little harder to tell with you."

"You are correct, of course. Where is Samantha? Please tell me she did not leave the room," he said somewhat breathlessly.

"She's not here. We'll deal with that in a minute. For now, I want you to tell me what damage there is to Martouf's body," She instructed briefly and concisely.

"The blade missed anything vital. I am attempting to stem the flow of blood from the wound, but it is very jagged and extremely deep. I deflected it, and therefore it is more of a deep puncture and slash, than just a puncture. What ever you are doing appears to be aiding me," Lantash explained quickly.

Janet nodded, and said, "I'm applying pressure. Are you in pain?"

"Yes," He ground out, "We are." Reaching into her bag, Janet drew out what she needed and began to inject something into his skin around the cut.

"What are you doing?" He asked, a little breathlessly.

"I'm going to clean this out and see what we have. Then, I'm probably going to put in a few stitches, and you can finish the job yourself. Or your healers can.

"Unnecessary, Doctor, but thank you."

"Just lie still," She said tersely, as she started to work. "I wonder why Jacob and Daniel haven't come? I would have expected them to check on Sam," she said as she wondered aloud.

"They have probably joined the search for Samantha. From the snatches of conversation I have been hearing, someone activated the ring transporter, and they do not know who it was. Whoever it was refused to stop and ran away when they reached the surface. I believe it was Samantha. I also believe she is confused and believes she is still a prisoner of Gamtesh."

"I agree," Janet said, as she worked steadily to clean and then suture the worst of the places that were bleeding. "There, that should help you out. Can you handle it from here or do you need me to do more?" She asked.

"What you have done has helped a great deal, Doctor. I thank you. If you would be so kind as to help me to get up, I would like to stand and go to see what is occurring," he informed her.

"Yes, I'm sure you would, but I think we'll wait for just a little longer here on this nice comfy floor. You really need to do some more work on that wound before you go moving around much. I only put a few stitches in, they won't hold if you start moving around, and you'll be right back where you started."

Sighing, he nodded at the unpalatable, but good, advice. Janet was startled when Martouf spoke to her, "I, too, wish to thank you, Dr. Fraiser. I am feeling better, and Lantash is working as quickly as he can to heal me. We must find Samantha. I do not understand exactly what is happening to her, but she is very confused." He spoke haltingly, but his voice was slowly becoming stronger as he lie quietly on the floor allowing Lantash and the Doctor to heal him. He would be no help to his Samantha if he were weak, or dead.

"I believe she's suffering PTSD, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. It can take days, weeks or months to surface, and it looks like in Sam's case, it was only days. I believe Sam's is acute. At a guess, I'd say flashbacks, confusion, disorientation, anxiety, and depression. You name it. Unfortunately, I think you were involved in a flashback. She thought she was there, she found the knife, you walked in or turned, or whatever happened, and she reacted as if you were one of them. Then she escaped." Janet paused for a moment, and then said, "Sam probably hasn't been sleeping at all, and that would magnify the symptoms a great deal. She hasn't had near enough sleep yet to counter that emphasizing effect, either. I should have checked on her and given her another sedative to keep her asleep. I'm sorry."

"It is not your fault, Dr. Fraiser. I believe that Samantha has hidden a great deal from you in the few days since her rescue. You could not have known how bad her captivity was since she refused to talk about it. Something that we will have to rectify. Even our healers feel she must talk about what happened to her."

"Well, it won't be easy. Sam's very self contained and private as a person, for the most part." Janet frowned, and then said slowly, "She had bruises and open cuts from the torture. She hadn't been in a sarcophagus recently when you rescued her. I'm beginning to think this may not all be PTSD. It's possible she had a head injury that is causing some of this. Maybe a lot of it. It wouldn't necessarily have shown up immediately if it happened right before you brought her out. If that's true, then we have to find her as soon as possible."

"What the hell's going on?" Jacob asked from the doorway, as one of the healers pushed past him and went to kneel by Martouf. Removing the blood soaked blanket she began to use the healing device on the wound.

"Sam stabbed Martouf and then fled to the surface. I take it they've not found her yet?" Janet asked, as she turned to look up at him from where she knelt next to Martouf on the floor.

"No, they don't even know who they are looking for. I went up top for a while, but they have a lot of people searching. However, now that I know it's Sam, I think I'll rejoin them. At least I know how she thinks to a certain extent," Jacob said.

As he turned to go Janet stopped him, "General, I think we may be seeing the result of a head injury on top of the trauma stress. We need to find her ASAP. If there is a head injury…"

Looking back at her, Jacob nodded and headed out. "I'll take Daniel, too."

"Jacob," Martouf called to him as he started to leave the room, "We will join you as soon as we can. I am sorry I was not more diligent."

Jacob shook his head, saying, "You had no more idea than we did. Just be sure you're recovered before you join the search. Hopefully, we'll have her back here before they even have you healed."

"I sincerely hope so, Jacob." Martouf replied, as he shut his eyes and tried to relax. Even with Lantash and the healing device, he was in a great deal of pain.

"Are you still in pain, Martouf?" Janet asked, as if reading his mind.

"Yes, I am, but it will pass soon, I am sure," he replied.

Looking over at the healer, Janet reached into her bag when she nodded to her that it would be all right. Filling the syringe with a pain-killing substance, she quickly injected it into Martouf's arm.

Jerking back, he asked, "What have you given me?"

"Only something for the pain. It will ease it for you, but have little affect on Lantash. You may become drowsy or fall asleep, but Lantash will not be affected that way. Other than that, it will cause you to feel very relaxed and possibly euphoric, but the pain should be controlled."

Martouf drifted off to the sound of her soft voice, and Lantash took control to say, "I cannot say it has no affect; however, you are correct, and it does not seem to be sleep inducing for me. You are also correct in that it has blocked the pain, which in one way will make it a little harder for me to heal him; although in another way, it helps in that I no longer must also try to mitigate the amount of pain he is feeling. It does produce euphoria, which I am having some trouble combating; it is not, however, an unpleasant sensation. Once again, I must thank you, Dr. Fraiser."

"You're welcome, Lantash. I didn't give you very much. I didn't want him sedated any longer than necessary for the healing to take place. I'm correct in assuming it won't take long with both the healer and you working on it?"

"That is correct." Lantash answered.

"Good, because I only gave you enough for a couple of hours at most, and by then I imagine you will either have healed completely, or be so close that there will be little or no ongoing pain."

"I agree." He replied.

"Listen, I'm going to go see if I can find out anything. You stay still, all right?" Janet said to him.

"I was about to ask you to do so." Lantash admitted.

"I'll go and check it out, if I have your word you won't try to get up or move around. Okay?"

Smiling slightly he replied, "As you wish Doctor." Seeing her wait, looking at him, he continued, "I give you my word."

Giving him a smile, she got up and left the room.

Turning to the healer, he said, "The Tau'ri women can be extremely stubborn, do you not think so?"

Smiling down at him the healer said, in a soft voice, "I do not believe that trait is necessarily restricted to the females of the Tau'ri, Lantash." Pushing firmly on his good shoulder, she continued, "You gave your word. I will help you to keep it. Now, lie still and do not move as you promised the Doctor."

Sighing, Lantash used a phrase he had often heard Jacob use when he had been over ruled, "All right," he said, "I give up."

* * *

"The trail ended several hundred meters in that direction. We have been searching every small sheltered area. The sun will be up soon, and it will be to hot to remain here for any length of time," the guard reported to Jacob. 

"Trail? Sam wouldn't have left a trail. She's a USAF soldier, special ops trained. There wouldn't be a trail unless she wanted you to find it. You're looking in the wrong place, damn it. Where did this trail start, Marius?"

"Over there," he indicated with a nod of his head.

"All right," Jacob said, "the trail ended at the rocks over there. My guess is she made the false trail and doubled back to those rocks and took off from there. She could be anywhere out there. Daniel, you got any thoughts? You've been with Sam enough on missions you can probably second-guess her better than anyone."

Daniel nodded and looking around at the formations and the terrain, he said, "She knows this is a desert planet, so she's going to be looking for shelter, but she'll also look for water. There seems to be more scrub and brush that way as well as more cave like openings. That way," he indicated with a nod to there right, "it's more barren, less cover, less chance of water, but less chance we would pick that way to look."

"So, what are you saying?" Jacob asked.

"I think she'd have found water first, then started for the more barren area hoping to hide again until dark and then get more water. At that point, she'd probably head for the gate."

"You're sure, Daniel? We don't have much time."

"No, I'm not sure. Sam isn't exactly acting like herself, y'know. But, if she was acting true to form, I believe that is what she would have done. I suggest we cut our group in half, send some up there, and then the rest of us head over that way." He responded tensely.

"All right, it makes sense to split up anyway. I just hope she doesn't run into any of the damn lizards that live here. They're big, they're nasty tempered, and as far as we know all she has is a knife. We didn't think to ask if she had his zat, too." Jacob rubbed his face tiredly. "Okay people listen up. Marius you take a group and head up there. Check every hole you can find that might even remotely hold her. Daniel and I'll go in that direction with everyone else. If you find her, don't try to take her, just send someone for us. Oh, and we have to assume she's armed, and we know she's dangerous. Let's go."

* * *

Three hours later, the sun was up, it was getting hot, and they had found nothing, not a hint that she had been anywhere near there. Looking up, Jacob saw Martouf coming toward him. He seemed none the worse for wear, except that he was holding one arm across himself, and it was in a sling. In spite of everything, Jacob had to grin at Dr. Fraiser's handiwork. If the petite Doctor could make Lantash wear a sling, she could do anything. 

"Jacob," he called, as soon as he was within hailing distance, "Have you found nothing yet?"

"No, we haven't. Not the first thing. She laid a false trail to throw the searchers off and it worked. We haven't found her yet."

"Jacob, we must find her soon. The sun on this planet is much to hot to be out here for long. It makes it a perfect place for us to hide, but it is not meant to support life on the surface." Lantash stated.

"Lantash? Martouf. I'm here, I'm over here."

"Jacob, that was Samantha."

"That way," Jacob nodded in the direction Daniel had already started in.

Running past him, Lantash called for her, "Samantha? Samantha, my heart, where are you? Keep talking so that we can find you."

"I'm here. Down here actually. I fell down a hole. I'm here. I can't tell where you are, there's a lizard down here with me, and I think, "she paused, as her voice began to shake, and it sounded like she was laughing, not crying, "I think he's either going to have me for breakfast or he's in love with me. He-he keeps licking my hand and my cheek." Her voice ended on a cross between a sob and a laugh.

"I am coming, my love, I am almost to you. Samantha, do you have the knife with you?" He asked breathlessly, as he scrambled over the rocks toward the sound of her voice.

"Yes," she answered, "but I think I broke my arm when I fell, and I know I've got a sprained ankle. And, my head hurts, so I think I have a concussion." I can use the knife though, I think. Why?" she replied, her words running together as she spoke quickly.

"I am right above you, my Samantha. Can you move back, very slowly from the lizard?"

Looking up and seeing him leaning over the edge of the hole she had fallen into in the dark, relief rushed through her. Martouf had found her, not whoever she had been running from. She just hoped she wasn't hallucinating. Staring at him, she said quite firmly, "Well, no, does it look like I can move back from him, er it?" Martouf looked over the edge and almost gasped at the sight of the three-foot lizard lying next to his Samantha with its head in her lap. Occasionally he flicked his tongue out and gently touched her hand or cheek.

Jacob turned to the Tok'Ra who had gathered around, saying, "Someone go back, and tell them she's been found. Stop the other searchers and bring the rescue equipment we may need. It never occurred to me that she could have fallen into a hole. His head snapped back as what he had seen sank in.

"Is that one of your nasty tempered lizards, Jacob?" Daniel inquired. "He seems to like Sam."

Jacob shook his head and watched as Daniel stopped Martouf and began the climb down himself. As he fell the last couple of feet and headed for Samantha, he began to talk gently to her. The lizard looked at him, blinking slowly.

"Sam, it's me Daniel, and we're here to help you. Just stay where you are, and I'll come to you."

"I'm not going anywhere soon, Daniel, I can't," Sam replied, in a tight voice. "I have a broken arm, a sprained ankle, and my vision is blurred. I think I may have cracked a rib, too. And Tashmar won't leave me no matter what I do. It even brought me something to eat, I think," she said, as she nodded slightly toward a large dead bug of some kind.

"Tashmar?" Daniel asked, as he reached her side and took the knife from her. "You've named it already?"

"Yes, I named him after Lantash and Martouf. Tashmar. He's cute too, huh?" Sam said quietly. "I think he loves me. Tashmar, not Lantash and Martouf."

Daniel sat down next to her and pulled her into his arms. "Why didn't Martouf come down for me, Daniel?" She whispered, her eyes suddenly awash with tears. "And why can't I stop crying?"

Daniel watched in amazement as Tashmar flicked his tongue out, licked the tear off Sam's face, and then nuzzled her hand slightly, as if asking for something. He stopped when she started to stroke his head.

"Martouf was injured, Sam, and I don't think he can climb yet. He'll be with you as soon as he can." He said as he pressed her head into his shoulder. He heard her sniff weakly.

"I'm so sorry, Daniel. I can't seem to control my tears. I don't understand it. Something has happened to me, hasn't it? I woke up here in this hole, and I don't even know where I am. At least I know who I am."

"Yes, Sam, something very bad happened to you, and your mind is trying to cope, I think. I also think you might have a head injury that's causing you to act a little, um, strangely. That's all. Please don't try to remember, Okay?"

"If it's bad enough you don't want me to remember, I think I'll take your advice, at least for now. What happened to Martouf?" She asked. When she got no answer, she pulled back slightly to ask, "Daniel?"

"He was, uh, stabbed," he finally replied. He felt her tense in his arms and knew that a memory was coming to the surface. Damn, he hadn't wanted that to happen yet.

"I stabbed him, didn't I, Daniel? That's what you meant by my strange behavior? That I attacked Martouf?"

"You didn't know it was Martouf, Sam, you thought it was someone else. Someone that was going to hurt you. He isn't angry at you."

Her head fell forward onto his chest. "Oh, God. Did I hurt anyone else?"

"No. No, Sam, you didn't, you just tried to escape, thinking you were running away from the people that wanted to hurt you. Now stop thinking and relax. We'll have you out of here in a little bit."

Hearing small pebbles falling onto the ground, Daniel looked up to see Martouf working his way slowly down into the hole. When he jumped the last couple of feet to the ground, Daniel watched as he stopped and regarded the large lizard that was beginning to stir. It walked over to him, licked his hand, and moved back onto Sam's lap. He heard Sam gasp, and say, "Tashmar likes you, Martouf."

Martouf walked to them and squatted down in front of Samantha. Reaching out he slowly caressed her face with the backs of his fingers. "I love you, Samantha. Come to me, my heart?" He asked softly.

Hearing her catch her breath, Daniel looked down and loosened his arms from around her. Moving slowly back from her, he allowed Martouf to slip into the spot where he had been sitting. Catching Martouf's look, he nodded, once, decisively and turned to walk the short way to the wall at the other end of the hole. Looking back at them, he saw Sam relax, and a small smile begin to grow on her lips. Martouf wasn't leaving her in any doubt of his feeling this time. There would be no more_ fond of's _or_ strong affections._

Tashmar, bored with the love talk, got up, and after a long look at Martouf, wandered over to lie by Daniel's feet, evidently content with the way things were going.

"By the powers of the Universe, Samantha," Martouf was whispering, "Never have I been as frightened as I have been so often these last two weeks. Never again will you ever have to wonder if I care for you, love you, and wish you to be my mate. Your father informs me that _affection_ is for one's _dog?_ And _fondness_ is for _french fries._ I am not sure what those are, but I think I understand the inference."

Reaching up with her good hand, she touched him lightly and then noticed the blood on her hand. She hadn't gotten it all washed off in the small pool of water she had found. She shuddered, realizing that the blood was from Martouf.

Leaning back and searching his face, she said, "I'm so sorry for attacking you. I don't remember why I did it, but no matter what I thought, it's indefensible of me to have done it. I just hope that you can forgive me someday. I know I'll never forgive myself." She told him, as she shuddered in his arms, thinking of what she had done.

"My Samantha, look at me," he requested softly. "There is nothing to forgive. Believe me, you did not know who I was. It was dark, and you had awoken not knowing where you were, and thinking you were still being, well, just thinking you were being held against your will. When I re-entered the room, you did what you could to escape, and I do not blame you in any way. I am glad to know that even now, you would continue to fight for your freedom. Please, do not feel guilty for something that is my own fault. I was aware that you were not thinking clearly, and I should have been on guard more. Please, my heart, do not give it another thought. Lantash has fixed us up as good as new."

"That's why you have a sling on? And, why don't you have it around your arm instead of just hanging around your neck?" She asked skeptically.

"Your Dr. Fraiser can be quite adamant about some things, and it is easier to simply give in than to argue. It was not necessary. However, that reminds me of your broken arm. How bad do you think it is?" He asked, as he prepared to call to Daniel.

"I'm guessing it's only a fracture, not a complete break, but I don't know for sure. Why?" She asked.

"I am going to see if I can take care of it for you," he said, and raising his voice, he said to Daniel, "Samantha's arm and ankle could be healed if we had a healing device. Would you ask Jacob if they brought theirs?"

"Sure," Daniel answered, as he turned back to Jacob and raised his voice enough to be heard by them. "Martouf wants to know if you have your healing device, Jacob?"

"Yes, and I don't know why I didn't think of it. I'll be right down," he said as he prepared to climb down and join them in the hole. Once there, he went straight to his daughter and gingerly took her arm into his hands. Selmak came forward, and said, "It is fractured, Samantha, I can take care of it in very short order, and then I will take care of the ankle and the ribs."

"Yes, I think they're cracked not actually completely broken."

"Painful, nevertheless," Selmak replied, as he drew the healing device out of the pouch he wore. "Broken and fractured bones are some of the easiest of injuries to heal." He said, as he fitted it onto his hand.

Hearing her in-drawn breath, he looked at her to see her staring at the healing device on his hand. "They kept breaking my bones and then using that on them to heal me, so they could have the pleasure of breaking them over again. Sometimes, they just continued on until I died, and then they put me in the sarcophagus and started over," she whispered, as she stared at it. "And sometimes they just used me for, for," she choked on her words and didn't continue speaking; she just continued to stare at her father's hand with the healing device on it. Suddenly shaking her head, and then moaning as it hurt, she let her head fall back onto Martouf's chest, and said to Selmak, "Please go ahead, it's over, the memory is gone. Please, just do it, please," she said, as she closed her eyes against the sight.

Selmak set to work and put as much energy into it as he could, so that it worked as quickly as possible. Hearing a slight noise, he looked over to see Daniel standing with his arms wrapped tightly around himself, staring straight ahead at the wall, a tear slowly moving down his cheek. He was feeling Sam's pain as if it was his own, Selmak knew. That young man was almost too sensitive for this life, and how he managed to live in the world he inhabited, Selmak would never understand.

_"Daniel Jackson is stronger than is apparent on the surface. He feels things deeply, but he has the fire of a reformer and a savior to sustain him. Don't worry about Daniel,"_ Jacob said to Selmak, as he worked on Samantha.

_"I know, Jacob, I just find it difficult to understand why he remains in a situation that brings him so much pain."_

_"Daniel absorbs the pain of those around him. It wouldn't matter where he was, he'd absorb pain from others because he cares so much." _

"Selmak, they are returning. They should be here within a few minutes," Marius had joined the group from the other searchers.

"I am almost finished. I am going to finish her ribs before we try to move her." The sound of a group arriving was a relief to him, and he looked up into the anxious face of Janet Fraiser.

"They said she was injured," she called down to him.

Finishing the last of the bones, he called up, "She had a fractured arm, a sprained ankle and cracked ribs. I have taken care of them."

"Good. Her body doesn't need to be trying to take care of anything else right now. Come on, lets get these people out of there," she called to someone Selmak could not see. No wonder Lantash had been wearing a useless piece of cloth around his neck. She was like a little forceful general. Who was that short little man that was in Jacob's memories? Ah, yes, Napoleon. So, they had their own little Napoleon, and her troops appeared to be following her orders to the letter.

He heard Jacob laugh as he pictured Janet Fraiser dressed as Napoleon. He smiled with him for a moment and then turned his attention to the woman who was the reason for all the activity. She lay pale and still in Martouf's arms, so pale that her skin looked almost transparent. She was very thin, too, he realized with a frown. They were not out of the woods, as Jacob would say. In fact, he thought that perhaps they were just beginning the start of a long uphill battle to which the outcome was not at all assured. He watched as her eyes flew open, and she looked at him and then at Daniel, "Please, don't forget Tashmar. Really, I want him with me. He stayed with me and wouldn't leave me, so I don't want him left here. Promise?"

Selmak looked into the large blue eyes of his host's daughter, his daughter now, and then at the newest addition to the Tok'Ra base. He sighed. "I promise, Samantha," he said.

TBC 


	4. Declaration 4 WAF

_**Special Events: **Sam gets a new pet_

_**Pairing:** Sam/Martouf/Lantash, Sam/Daniel friendship_

_**Rating:** R_

_**"Italics" -** Symbiote-Host communication _

* * *

_**When Angels Fall**_

**_Chapter Four_**

_**Declaration**_

* * *

Janet Fraiser approached the group standing in the hall. She shrugged her shoulders and then rolled them as she rubbed her neck to try to ease the tension. They stopped talking as she walked up to them. 

"Well, I was pretty close to calling it right. A latent head injury was causing pressure and that, along with the PTSD and sleep deprivation, caused the bizarre behavior. I think we've pretty much been able to take care of it, at least the physical portion. Your healers were able to lessen the swelling and with sleep and therapy, I think I'd give a guarded, but optimistic, prognosis."

"I'm going to recommend a one to two month leave from active duty, followed by light liaison duty here with the Tok'Ra, for up to three additional months, so that they can continue to manage the head injury recovery and the therapy for the PTSD. I'm not going to report the incident that happened. If I do, it will go into her record as a psychological episode of the most extreme behavior. I don't want to do that if I can avoid it. I'm going to assume that none of you told me about it when I next come to see her, unless it continues. Then, as you know, I'll have no choice, but to include it." Janet looked from one to the other as she made her report.

"She can't have something like on her record, Janet. You know what would happen. She'd be assigned to a desk assuming they didn't force her into a medical discharge. She doesn't deserve that." Daniel spoke up.

"I agree right now, Daniel, which is why I'm pretending I don't know anything about it. But…,"

"That isn't going to happen, Janet," Jacob spoke up belligerently. "I don't care what you tell them. Tell them she's P.O.W. for all I care, but she isn't going to be forced to leave the air force or take a desk job for no reason. I'll keep her here permanently before I let her be forced into a desk job she'd hate."

"I agree for now, but you know as well as I do that if the therapy doesn't work and Sam can't work through this, she could be a liability or a danger to her own team. I won't let that happen and neither would you. For now, I'm leaving it that she's going into therapy and staying here as I said. I'm also stating that in my opinion she and Dr. Jackson will be able to work through her memories of the capture and subsequent torture. I'm not going into detail of what all occurred. She's going to have to pass a psychological exam, and we all know that right now she couldn't. I think my recommendation is the best we can do. I'm stressing the head injury and sleep deprivation due to a too heavy workload after returning from captivity as to why I'm making this recommendation."

Giving it some thought, Daniel said, "I think you're right, Janet, and I also think that Sam will work through this. She's a very strong person. I have faith in her, and we'll all do everything we can to help her. So you think they'll go for me staying with her?"

"Yes, because I'm going to put into my report that she's opening up to you, and therefore, I feel it is imperative that you remain and continue to help her through the memories of her ordeal. The nice thing about being the Chief Medical Officer is that I can pretty much assure some things if I'm adamant enough, and on this I'm going to be since she's here, and you won't allow any other doctor to take care of her." Janet shrugged as she put the idea into their heads.

"So, basically you're saying you aren't going to do anything yet about her episode earlier and depending on how she does you may never mention it at all. I can live with that," Jacob said.

"Good. Now, one other thing, I know the Tok'Ra aren't into pets, but I really think you need to consider leaving Tashmar with her. I know you don't believe it, but she needs him, right now. She's bonded with it because it accepted her just as she is. I really think that separating them right now would be a mistake. Not one she wouldn't recover from, by any means, but it would be just one more emotion she'd have to cope with, if you know what I mean."

She grinned at Martouf, "You should be flattered. It's not everyone who gets a three-foot long lizard named after them. And it seems to like you, too. From what I've observed, it doesn't like everyone. It seems there are a few people here that it doesn't want around Sam, so they've graciously agreed to stay out of her room."

"Now, if you gentlemen wouldn't mind," she said, looking at Daniel, "Why don't you and Jacob walk me to the gate while Martouf goes and sits with Sam. They are going to keep her in your infirmary for the next 24 hours, monitor her, and keep her pretty sedated, but she'll awaken now and then so one of you might want to be with her when she does. Try not to let her wake up to strangers. I expect her to awaken soon, so Martouf, you might want to head on in there. I'll get my stuff and be right back," she said, before she turned to walk back to the infirmary to get her things.

"Jacob, I thought you said those things were nasty tempered?" Daniel asked him again, not having received an answer the first time.

"We thought they were. Every time they see one of us, they hiss. We just assumed they were nasty tempered and aggressive."

"Well, evidently they were just saying hello, or maybe the ones you saw were protecting their territory. This one sure seems to like Sam. Did you see it nudge her to pet it?"

"Yeah, I saw it. How the heck are we supposed to know what to feed it?" Jacob asked exasperated.

"I suggest we assign someone it likes to take it to the surface to hunt for itself. It seems fairly intelligent; it will soon learn why it is there if we help it a time or two," Martouf said hopefully. "If Janet thinks we should keep it for Samantha, then I believe we should attempt to do so."

"Then you better hope it takes a liking to Garshaw because if it doesn't, it'll no doubt have to find a new home," Jacob said testily. Daniel grinned and Martouf looked pensive.

All three were startled to hear Garshaw say, "Your hope has been answered, Jacob, for Tashmar and I get along fine. He found and destroyed a rather large bug that transported down into the tunnels during the coming and going while we searched for Samantha. As he seemed to relish it, I imagine that is his primary food source," She said, in her usual measured tone. "I wished to find out how Samantha is doing."

"Janet said there was a head injury that went undetected; she thinks the combination of that, and sleep deprivation caused the bizarre behavior. Martouf is going to stay with Sam. Daniel and I are waiting on Janet to return to take her to the gate," Jacob explained.

"Excellent. I am most happy to hear it. There will be a council meeting this afternoon, Jacob; I would like you to attend along with Martouf. If Dr. Jackson would sit with Samantha?" She questioned. "We also have given you quarters next to where she will be once she leaves the infirmary. I hope your stay with us will be as pleasant as possible under the circumstances."

"Thank you, Garshaw, but please, call me Daniel. If I'm to be here for quite some time, I'd prefer it if we'd drop the formality."

"Very well. Do ask for anything you find you need and if possible we will provide it."

Turning to Jacob she asked, "Is there anything special that Samantha requires? We are sending a party for supplies."

"Not that I know of right now. If I or anyone else thinks of anything, we'll tell them. Thank you," He replied.

"Very well, I'll see you and Martouf later," She said, as she headed down the hall.

"I am going to go to Samantha now," Martouf said, as he saw Janet Fraiser headed toward them. I will see you later when you come to sit with Samantha, Daniel."

"I'll be there," Daniel agreed.

* * *

Martouf sat beside the sleeping platform and stared at the lizard, as it stared back at him. It blinked slowly at him and he shook his head. The lizard came over to him and laid its head on his lap. Gingerly he lifted his hand and stroked it as he had seen Samantha do in the hole. It turned its head to get the stroking in a place of its liking and made a low silky hissing sound. Martouf pulled his hand back, startled, and watched as the lizard crawled closer and pushed his hand with its nose and then lightly flicked him with its tongue. 

"I told you he likes you," Samantha whispered form the platform. Martouf jerked, startling Tashmar and sending him scurrying a foot or so away. "You startled him. You should reassure him that you didn't mean to. Sam spoke in a throaty whisper. "I'm thirsty," She said, and then asked, "Do you think Tashmar is thirsty, too?"

"I do not know, Samantha, but I will see if we can get him some water," he offered, as he leaned forward to get her a drink of water. Tashmar came back to him and laid next to the sleeping platform.

"Tell me, my heart, how did you manage to make a friend of him? We have only had them hiss at us."

Sam's brow furrowed as she tried to remember. "I was thirsty, and I knew I'd have to have water before the sun came up. I found some brush and figured there was probably some water close by and after looking for a while, I found a small pool. Unfortunately, Tashmar was there, too. Anyway, he started to hiss and stomp at me like lizards sometimes do, so I stood up really tall and stomped at him, and he moved back from the water."

"I drank as much as I could because I didn't know when I'd be able to get more or how hot it would get. I washed," she stopped and swallowed, "washed your blood off me, and I rested for a little bit. He drank some water, too, but when I left to try to find a place to hide, he followed me."

"When I fell into the hole he," she stopped speaking, her lips trembling, and Martouf clasped her hand as he sat down next to her on the platform, "he climbed down to me and licked me to wake me up, I think. He wouldn't leave me; he just lay down next to me and rubbed my hand until I started to stroke him. After that, he made that hissing sound and put his head in my lap. And, he killed that bug and brought it to me. I think he decided I needed help, but he didn't know what to do. Since I didn't hurt him when he threatened me, he decided I could be trusted, I guess. At least, I like to think so. And, he helped me when I fell. I didn't disgust him because I fell," she said softly, as she gazed at the lizard that lay on the floor beside her bed. He hissed softly, and Sam smiled even as a tear slowly made its way down her cheek.

"I hate this, Martouf. I almost never cry. Why can't I stop? Janet says it's the trauma, and that as I work through it, it will stop. She said, in the meantime, I'm going to be a watering pot. How are you going to stand being around me?" she asked, as her lips continued to tremble.

"Samantha, before the head injury caused you to become so confused, I was lying on the sleeping platform and holding you. May I do so now, please? Lantash and I need very much to hold you in our arms. We love you and we do not care if you cry all the time you are with us, as long as you are here," he told her softly.

"Lantash has never said he loves me, Martouf. I don't think you should put words in his mouth. If he loves me, he'll tell me when he's ready," Sam replied.

She watched the change that came over him and marveled at how different they each looked even though they shared the same body. "Samantha, Martouf speaks for both of us." He looked down at their clasped hands and continued, "I remember our first meeting. We explained that Martouf and I loved as one and mourned as one. That has not changed, beloved. Both of us loved you yesterday before we told you, we share that same love for you today, and when the morrow dawns we will love you more than we do this day. Our love for you will only grow, never falter, this I promise you," he said gently. Looking up into her blue eyes, that looked almost too large for her pale face, he said, "Now, may we lie with you and hold you, our Samantha? Do you think that Tashmar will allow it?" He asked lightly.

"Yes, oh, yes. Please hold me, Lantash. I want to be in your arms so much," she said, as she smiled a little at him. Looking down at Tashmar, she said, "If he complains, stomp at him. He seems to understand that."

Carefully lying next to her, he put his arms gently around her and rested his cheek on the top of her head. She felt the deep breath he took before he said, quietly, "Do you think you can ever care for me, Samantha? I know you will come to love Martouf, but will you ever be able to accept me? I am all too aware that you find the idea of having a symbiote within you disgusting. If I could change my physical appearance, I would, but I cannot. Knowing how you feel about our race, I have tried to remain quiescent, so that you were not constantly reminded of what I am, what Martouf is. That is why I have not come forward to tell you of my feelings. I did not want to fill you with disgust."

Sam gasped, startled by his words. Turning and raising her head slightly she said to him, "No, no don't think that. I love you both. I don't feel the same as I did at first. You must understand, Lantash, I had a very bad experience with Jolinar. But, now, looking back, I wish I'd gotten to know her. I no longer feel that I wouldn't want to be blended either. I know that someday, I probably will choose to do so. I've given it a lot of thought and actually, I feel that it could be very enlightening. I don't wish you to always allow Martouf to be the one with me. I-I want you both." Gasping she said quickly, "Oh, that sounds so, so bad."

Lantash chuckled and pulled her head down to rest against his chest. "No, it sounds very wonderful, my heart," he said, kissing the top of her head. "If the healers come in and find I am keeping you talking instead of letting you sleep, they will make me leave. So sleep, beloved, and I will keep watch and protect you." Hearing a hiss, he looked down and rephrased his words, "Tashmar and I will protect you."

He heard her laugh sleepily and closed his own eyes. He was tired; he would just rest his eyes for a moment. Neither of them felt the lizard climb onto the platform and curl up at their feet. The healer that came to check on her patient grinned and left after a quick look and check of her readouts. All three were sleeping peacefully.

* * *

Daniel found the trio in much the same position when he came to relieve Martouf an hour and a half later. Tashmar had moved up and was lying on the other side of Sam, with his head resting on her hip as she was curled on her side with her arm wrapped around Martouf and her head on his chest. 

Hearing a sound, he turned and saw Jacob standing nearby. "What do we do? Should we wake him?" Daniel whispered.

Jacob shrugged, "Garshaw was pretty specific that she expected him to be there, so I guess we should," he whispered back.

"That will not be necessary Jacob," came a quiet voice from the bed. "I am awake." Opening his eyes, he looked at Daniel and asked, "Can you slip in as I slip out?"

At Daniel's nod, they began the exchange process. "So Tash doesn't bite?" Daniel whispered.

Martouf shook his head, "It does not appear so, at least, he does not seem to threaten those he likes. You must ask Samantha how she made friends with him. It is an interesting story."

"She awoke shortly after I came in and was awake for perhaps twenty minutes. We fell asleep, and as far as I know, she has only moved into her present position, which she did without awakening. I will return as soon as the meeting is over to relieve you."

"I took a nap, too. I'm all right. You go do whatever you have to do, and don't worry about Sam. I won't leave her alone, I promise you."

Looking at the man now lying in his place, Martouf took a breath and nodded abruptly. It looked strange seeing Daniel holding his Samantha, but it also looked right. It bothered him that it was so. It should not look right, should it? He frowned as he gazed at them, and when Daniel looked up from studying Sam's face and caught his eye, Martouf flushed.

They hadn't heard Jacob leave, but they were alone. He felt uncomfortable, but Daniel said to him, "She's special to me, Martouf, you know that. Stop worrying about it."

"I am not exactly worrying about it. It is just that the two of you look very right together, as if it is a normal and comfortable thing for you to be lying together. Furthermore, I feel no jealousy, which I find," he paused, "odd."

"Well, it probably looks normal because we're comfortable together. We're teammates, and we've slept together before for various reasons. You aren't jealous because you know that we don't care for one another in '_that_' way. Stop worrying about it, and be glad you're not jealous. If you were, we'd have a problem, because Sam and I are very close, and we always will be. Now, go to your meeting and know you don't have to worry about her," Daniel reassured him.

Martouf nodded and turned to leave, but turned back, "If Tashmar gets restless, and starts to bother her, you can calm him by rubbing the top of his head or under his chin. He appears to be content with either."

With those instructions, he left the room and so didn't see the grin that Daniel sent his way.

Laying his head back, Daniel slowly and gently pushed the hair back off Sam's face. The healers had healed her skin, and the bruises that had been so livid were gone. He assumed the lash marks that had crisscrossed her back had also been healed along with those that had covered her stomach and legs. Thinking about what they had found, when they had finally gotten to Sam in the stronghold, made Daniel feel nauseated. God, he hoped he never saw anything like it again. Thank god, she had been unconscious and didn't know they had seen her tied like that.

Lantash had already killed Gamtesh and disintegrated him so that he couldn't be revived. If he hadn't, Daniel wasn't sure what he would have done to him, but he was sure he wouldn't have left before making sure he suffered.

Lantash hadn't arrived until after they had cut Sam down and put some clothes on her. Had he come in and seen what they had seen, Daniel was sure he would have realized earlier what had happened.

They should have put Sam in the sarcophagus, but she had revived and when she realized they were truly there, she had insisted on setting the prisoners free and forcibly taking the girls with them. After two days, they had contacted the Tollan and taken the girls to them. They were fitted with the devices to give the girls control, while they awaited the arrival of the Tok'Ra and the healers and equipment they needed to remove the Goa'uld. They could have taken the girls with them, but they were themselves moving to another new home world in something of a hurry, and it was deemed best to do it the way they had. The rest, as they say, was history.

* * *

Daniel awoke with a start to see Lya and Nafrayu standing over the bed where he was lying with Samantha in his arms. He squinted up at them and reached up to straighten his glasses. "Lya, um, hi." He watched as Nafrayu moved to pet the lizard that was still on the bed with them. "His, um name is, um, Tashmar," he murmured, as the boy reached the reptile. 

"Where er, um, what are you doing here?" He looked quickly around and decided they were still on the Tok'Ra base.

"The Tollan contacted us and told us what had happened to Carter. Although there is little we can do for this type of injury, Nafrayu wished us to come anyway," she said, as she smiled at Daniel. "I am sorry that we cannot do more for her. I would like to do a healing session, though, and see if it perhaps gives her more physical strength to call upon."

"Lya," Daniel gave her his sweetest smile, the one Sam always swore could charm the birds from the trees, or the women from their clothes, if he would just remember to use it. The fact that it wasn't something he used in that way, but was spontaneous and therefore sincere, made it all the more potent. Lya was no more proof against it than others before her were, and she smiled in return as she realized that Daniel was finally awake enough to see her. "Lya," he repeated, "It's really great of you and Nafrayu to come, even if it's only to see her."

Somehow knowing what Daniel was not saying, she said, "What happened to her was not her fault. She should not blame herself. While we cannot heal her mind, with your permission, we can perhaps lessen the effects."

As Daniel nodded and attempted to ease himself away from Sam, Lya placed her hand on him, "It is not necessary that you get up, Daniel. She is resting peacefully at the moment, do not disturb her." With another smile, she said, "Come, Nafrayu, we will do what we can."

A short time later, Nafrayu touched Sam lightly on the cheek, smiled at Daniel, and they were gone. Daniel shook his head. Was '_he_' hallucinating now or had they actually been there? Looking over at the color in Sam's cheeks and the slight smile on her lips, he decided they must have been. Suddenly, Lya was back. "We will return in a few of your weeks, Daniel, to check on you." As she disappeared again, Daniel smiled softly and settled more comfortably on the platform. Maybe he would take another nap.

It had been six weeks since Jacob had brought his daughter to the Tok'Ra base on Corlatt, and he had to admit; he was worried about her. She would appear to do well for a few days, only to start having nightmares again.

She had talked to Arwanna, one of the Tok'Ra healers who at one time had been an agent, and gone through a similar, although less vicious, captivity. What they talked about no one knew, for Sam still refused to discuss it with anyone, but her. They had become friends and often walked on the surface at night, taking Tashmar for a hunt, and talking. Many times those nights Martouf and Lantash were awakened by Sam's screams, and they held her as she sobbed out her fear and pain.

All three of the men to whom she meant so much were worried. This was why they were all waiting to see Arwanna. When she entered the room and saw them there, she sighed. She could not tell them anything. She had promised Samantha she would reveal nothing of what was told to her. She would not break that confidence.

Smiling pleasantly anyway, she approached them saying, "What can I do for you? None of you look injured or unwell," she said, almost cheerfully, hoping to put off the inevitable.

"We wish to speak to you of Samantha," Lantash came bluntly and quickly to the point. "She is waking up with nightmares every night you go for a walk."

Looking surprised, she asked, interested, "Does she never have them otherwise?"

"Occasionally, but it is random. When she has talked to you she always has one," Lantash answered. "It seems to disturb her greatly. I am wondering if you should perhaps not discuss it at night."

Arwanna looked thoughtful, and then said, "Perhaps, but I cannot get her to speak of it in the light of day, Lantash. The darkness allows her to talk more freely. We are doing quite well actually. She is remembering more all the time. Things she buried as too painful to remember are coming to the surface. I hope that soon she will be able to recall everything and then begin to come to terms with it. She has not yet had an angry response. I am waiting for it to happen, and I would appreciate knowing about it, in case she does not think to tell me."

"Why?" Daniel asked, frowning.

"Because until she becomes angry and places the blame on the perpetrator, she will continue to feel herself to blame in some way. Intellectually, I believe she knows she is not to blame; emotionally, she has not yet arrived at that conclusion."

"What can we do to help her?" Jacob asked.

"Exactly what you are doing; although, I believe that she needs to talk to Daniel. I believe she has some unresolved feelings about being left behind. Perhaps you should walk with her some night, Daniel, in my place. I know the two of you are close, and she depends on you during the day to keep her occupied and busy. Perhaps," she said slowly, "too busy. She is using things to keep from confronting what has happened to her. As long as she is busy she does not have to think, you see."

"I'll go with her tonight," Daniel said.

Bowing her head in agreement, she said, "All right. Have you and Selmak attempted to talk to her, Jacob?"

"No. I know I should, but it's a subject I find myself unable to broach to her. Unfortunately, sexual things aren't as easy to discuss on earth as they are in other cultures." Jacob colored slightly.

"But, this is not a sexual matter, Jacob, it is a matter of violence that used her sex to inflict pain and degradation on her. I believe they are two different things. I will not insist, though, because if you have these feelings, then chances are good that, as your daughter, Samantha, also has them." She was frowning, obviously, in very deep thought.

She nodded suddenly, and then turned back to Jacob, saying, "I believe you should not approach that subject with her; however, the torture and captivity are matters you could broach. I do not want you all to decide to talk to her at once; nevertheless, if the opportunity arises, I do not want any of you to avoid it."

As they each nodded, Daniel said, "Okay, so I'll make an effort to walk with her tonight. You always go about the same time every evening?"

"Samantha takes Tash out each night at the same time. I do not always go. Moreover, having thought about it, I would prefer that you did not go with her tonight. There is something else I think should be assessed first. If you have no more questions, I wish to talk to Lantash and Martouf alone," she surprised them all by saying.

"I don't have anything else except to ask when you want me to go with her and try to talk to her?"

"Wait until tomorrow evening, please."

"Okay, no problem," he said, as he turned to Jacob. "I'm hungry, you want to go see if we can find anything to eat and maybe some of that stuff they think is like coffee?"

"Sure, Daniel, come on, and I'll get you something for those cravings. See you tomorrow, Lantash."

As the two men left the room, Arwanna turned to Martouf and Lantash, "I have a very important question to ask you. Have you mated with or attempted to mate with, Samantha?" She asked bluntly.

TBC


	5. First Steps 5 WAF

"_Italics" – Symbiote-Host communication_

* * *

_**When Angels Fall**_

**_Chapter Five _**

_**First steps**_

* * *

When no answer was forth coming, Arwanna tried again, "Lantash, have you, or have you not, mated with Samantha? I know she is staying with you at night. It is important or I would not ask." 

"I-I, that is, I, we," drawing a breath and controlling the flush that tried to rise in Martouf's cheeks, Lantash was suddenly very busy adjusting all kinds of bodily reactions, from a hormone increase, to a sudden flushing of his skin, and a tightening of his vocal cords. Once they were stable, he took control from the somewhat stunned Martouf. While the Tok'Ra did not hide their sexual activity, neither did they usually confront each other in such an open manner.

"I am sorry, we were not expecting that question," he finally managed to say with reasonable aplomb.

"I could have been more tactful or taken time in working up to it, but it seemed that the most direct route to the answer I need would be simply to ask. I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable," she answered reasonably.

"I understand. Could I ask why you feel you need this information? Is it not something that should be between Samantha and myself?" He asked, almost haughtily.

"As Sam would say, stuff it, Lantash. I asked because I need the information to know what her sexual reactions have been. Is she frightened when you touch her intimately? When you kiss her? Does she approach you for caresses or kisses or does she avoid them? Does she panic if you rise above her to enter her? Does she even have sexual urges at all, or has this completely deadened her desire completely? The trauma she has undergone could result in any or all of those symptoms, or had you even given that any thought?" She asked her questions rapidly and concisely.

"I admit it had occurred to me that she might be frightened, so I have not been pressing her in any way. I thought that perhaps she would feel uncomfortable, if I made any sexual moves or placed demands upon her that she could not fulfill, so I have avoided attempting to do more than give her light caresses. Kissed her head or her hand, caressed her cheek. Simple things that would not frighten her," Lantash said, somewhat defensively.

"Well, that explains that then," she said, as she looked at him, obviously slightly exasperated with him. "Lantash, Samantha is feeling a great many conflicting emotions. If you attempt to mate with her, or do any of the things that generally lead up to mating, you may frighten her, perhaps badly. That is true. By not even attempting to mate with her, however, you are reinforcing her idea that she is no longer worthy of your love; that she is somehow soiled, and that you find the idea of sexual contact with her disgusting. My advice in this is that you attempt, very slowly, to move toward mating with her. If you are indeed planning on taking her as your acknowledged mate, as rumor says, waiting to attempt it is only convincing her that she is no longer desirable or loveable."

Lantash stood with his head bowed and his eyes closed. When he opened them and looked at her, he said, "Thank you for telling me. It never once occurred to me that Samantha would think those things. I will take your place on her walk tonight. How could she…?" Shaking his head in disbelief, he could not finish the sentence.

"She believes a great many untruths about herself right now. It is our job to find out what she believes and make her see the truth. And Lantash, she may even believe conflicting things. Her body has been invaded, violated, raped, and tortured. Her mind has been, too. And it will heal much more slowly than her body."

"The emotions she is feeling right now are very confused. As I said, she both wants your advances to prove you still desire her, and dreads them because she knows they may cause feelings of panic, fear, and anxiety, even nausea. Believe me, if she does react that way, it is not you or Martouf she is reacting to."

"I can personally attest that she is seeing someone else's face and feeling someone else's hands on her. It took time before I could accept my mate's caresses without shuddering in revulsion, and yet I desired him at times. Moreover, each of us reacts differently. Because I panicked each time I was approached, does not mean that she will. I took a very long time to get angry, but once I did, many of the other symptoms lessened. It is a complex matter that has induced complex emotions. If you find that you cannot cope, I suggest you talk to my mate, for he had a very difficult time with me."

"It truly is a complex situation, and nothing but patience is going to get you through it any easier or faster; however, talking to others does appear to help. Please tell Jacob and Daniel the same, for you are all welcome to come to talk to me or to talk to Daimesh," she explained softly.

"I wish you to at least attempt to initiate some intimacy into your relationship. I need to know how she reacts, so I know how to help her. We can hope that she will at least be able to accept some of your pre-mating caresses."

"Now, unless you have questions, I suggest you go find her and a cover of some sort, and take Tashmar for his walk."

He nodded briefly and turned to walk slowly to the door, obviously fearful, both dreading and anticipating the upcoming meeting.

"Lantash?"

"Yes?" he asked, without turning.

"As the Tau'ri would say; good–luck."

Smiling wryly, he answered, "I think I will need it, thank you."

"_Lantash, do you think she is correct in what she said?_" Martouf asked, obviously disturbed.

"_Arwanna's circumstances were the closest to what Samantha underwent. I have to assume she knows about that which she is talking. However, I also believe she was trying to tell us that every woman and her reaction to this type of trauma is the same yet different. Moreover, I appreciate very much her reassuring us that if we are rejected by our Samantha, she is not rejecting us, but whoever's face, voice, and hands she remembers and fears. I think we must keep that fact firmly in our minds," _Lantash answered, giving his own interpretation of what had been said as well.

"_You are correct. I agree and I too appreciate the bluntness and candidness with which she confronted us. I hope it will help us. Do you have any things in mind that we should do or—or say?"_ Martouf asked, somewhat hesitantly.

"_Yes, I believe we should discuss it with her before we attempt to do anything other than a few light kisses. To do otherwise, in my opinion, would almost certainly bring forth a very bad reaction from her."_

"_I agree, but I know it will be difficult to stop kissing her once we start. Perhaps we should simply see how it goes? No, you are correct, we should explain and talk to her first." Martouf was beginning to become slightly agitated. _

"_We are at our room, Martouf; we must go in. I will take control if you prefer, but I have issues of my own which may make this difficult. I feel I should try, though, and I think I can control our body's responses better."_

"_Yes, I believe that perhaps for this you may be the better one once we begin trying to, well, to seduce her for lack of a better word. I will try, though, if you wish me too."_

Lantash laughed shortly. "_All right. Do you wish to talk to her? Or do you wish for me to handle that?_"

"_I will try and I am ready to try now. Let us go in_," Martouf said tensely.

Walking into the room, they were unprepared to see Samantha changing her clothing. Martouf swallowed convulsively, before saying, "I am sorry, Samantha, I did not realize you would be dressing. I will leave you your privacy."

Turing rapidly at the sound of his voice, she pressed the robe to her body. She had gotten used to the Tok'Ra clothing up to a point, although she sometimes thought about asking Daniel to see if he could get them to send her some of her BDU's. "No, no that's all right. I was just putting on a fresh gown after a bath. I won't be more than a moment, if you'd just turn around," she said, as she blushed. She had seen the desire flare in his eyes at the sight of her nakedness, and it both delighted and scared her.

As Martouf turned his back to her, she quickly wrapped the dress around her body feeling better as it floated around her until it almost reached the floor. She knew the deep blue of the gown enhanced her eyes and set off the whiteness of her skin. Taking a deep breath, she said, "All right, I'm dressed. I'll get out of your way," she said nervously, "I'm going to take Tash for his walk. I think he's getting fat, don't you? I don't think he gets enough exercise or something." She was chattering in her nervousness, she knew, and she firmly clamped her lips shut. "If you'll excuse us," She finished, as she attempted to walk around him.

She gasped, as his hand reached out and clasped her arm firmly, but all he said was, "I was going to ask if you and Tashmar would accept my company tonight? I would enjoy an evening walk in the dunes."

He watched as she swallowed convulsively, and said softly, "I-I'd like t-that."

He could sense the fear in her, so he said, "I am not going to hurt you or attack you, Samantha; I promise you. I cannot however, promise not to kiss you, if you will allow me to, for I have been wanting to for a very long time."

"H-Have you?" She asked, hesitantly.

"Yes, I have. Now come, Tash is waiting at the doorway, and I am sure he is as hungry for his meal tonight as he always is." Opening his trunk, he picked up a large rug-like article. Picking up his zat, his knife, and some water, he turned to her. "Let us go, my love."

Nodding, Sam turned and motioned to Tashmar who obediently followed her down the hall toward the rings.

The rings deposited them on the surface, and they began to walk slowly towards the dunes that were not to far away. "Where is the best place for his hunting?" Martouf asked.

"What?" Sam gasped, then realizing what he had said, she pointed to some rocks not far away from the dunes. "He'll go over there, I imagine. He seems to prefer it. There are some nice flat rocks to sit on if you want to go that way instead. If not, he will take off shortly and go on his own." She knew she sounded breathless, but she didn't seem to be able to control her reaction to him tonight. She sensed something different about him this evening. As if he had thought about something and come to a decision.

"Rocks or dunes make no difference, my love. Wherever you wish to be is where I will go," he said, as he reached for her hand. When she left her hand resting in his as they walked, he tugged gently to bring her into the curve of his arm.

As he felt her stiffen slightly, he said to her, "Samantha, I am not going to hurt you, I simply wish to hold you as we walk. Can you allow me to do that without fear?"

"I-I think so. I'd like to try anyway," she said, her voice trembling slightly, but she didn't know if it was with fear or excitement. As he made no other moves to do more than hold her against him, she found herself relaxing. After all, he held her tightly every night. She had gotten so used to it that she knew if she ever returned to the SGC that she would have trouble sleeping without him. She also realized that she was actually considering not going back, but staying here with this man and her father. Could she do that?

She thought about her team and the SGC. She thought about earth, Janet, and Cassie. Could she say good-bye to all that? Daniel, how she would miss Daniel. She gasped at the pain the thought brought, and she almost stumbled. Good heavens, she'd never realized how very much Daniel meant to her. They had a bond she didn't want to break, ever. Sweet, gentle Daniel.

Tears started in her eyes, and she pressed her lips together tightly. Damn it. She had thought she was getting better. The tears were getting farther and farther apart as each day passed.

She was remembering and trying to face the things that had happened to her. That and Martouf and Lantash's obvious indifference. This was the first time, since she had come here, that he had done more than touch her hand or caress her face. Well, occasionally he kissed the top of her head as if he was her father. Was that how he saw her? As a child to be taken care of, but not as a woman to be loved and desired? No, she didn't really believe that. Lantash had been very firm in his declaration of love and so had Martouf. They'd had time to think about it, though, and maybe they had decided they didn't want a woman who was as soiled as she was.

"Samantha, I do not know what thoughts are going through your mind, but I have a feeling they are wrong. There is a nice large flat boulder over there. Will it be all right with you?" Martouf said softly.

"I, yes, that would be fine. Actually, I sometimes sit on it myself, when I come out alone, although I don't come alone often. I find I'm not comfortable being alone in the dark yet. I'm better, but not yet completely comfortable." She sighed as she said, "It makes me feel like a coward, afraid of the dark."

Martouf snorted lightly, "You are far from being a coward, my love. Trust me on that. It is just the after-effects of your ordeal, and soon, it will pass. It is better already, is it not?" He asked quietly.

"Yes, yes it is some better. At first, I couldn't come out alone at all. I hate to admit it, but there are still times that, if I know a man saw me come up alone, I'm nervous the entire time that I'm up here. Crazy I know. I'm seeing threats where there are none."

"A normal response and, perhaps, a realistic one." Martouf stated, as he spread out the rug. Climbing up onto the boulder, he held out his hand to her and helped her up. Once they were settled side by side, he laid back and looked at the stars for a moment before sitting back up. "I always enjoy searching the stars regardless of where we are. I do miss the night sky of Vorash, though. We spent a lot of time there."

They sat quietly side-by-side for a while both thinking of other times and places when they had searched the night sky. He sat with one leg bent and an arm thrown across it. Suddenly, he turned toward Samantha, and said, "I have something important I need to discuss with you. I should have told you days ago, I simply lacked the courage to say it to you."

He paused and Sam's breath caught in her breast. She couldn't breath. He was going to tell her he'd changed his mind about loving her. She knew it was coming. Why was she surprised?

"Samantha, I," he began, only to have Sam interrupt him.

"It's okay, Martouf, you don't have to tell me. I mean, I know it has to be hard to say it."

"True, but I am determined to do so."

"Please, don't," she whispered. "I understand your feelings about me now. You don't have to say it aloud."

"_Martouf, she thinks you are trying to tell her you no longer love her. Please reassure her. Now._"

"Samantha, will you become our mate?"

"You didn't have to come out here with me just to tell me…W-what did you say?" Suddenly, Sam realized he hadn't said what she was expecting.

"I asked you to become our mate. Will you honor us so, my Samantha?" He asked her earnestly.

"I—I don't know what to say. I mean, I don't know if I can be your mate," she answered.

"In what way do you feel you cannot be our mate? Is it because you do not love us? Martouf asked, quietly.

"No, no, I love you, I do," she swallowed convulsively. "It's that I'm afraid I won't be able to, um, to," she sighed, as her voice trailed off.

"You are afraid that you can no longer function in a sexual way? That you will be frightened or become ill when we touch you? It would be a normal response, my love, and we are prepared to help you work through it, even if it means waiting for a long time, or for that matter, forever."

"We would never force you, Samantha, no matter how much we want you physically. Furthermore, make no mistake, just because we have been trying to give you time to come to terms with all of your feelings that does not mean that we do not want you. We want you very much indeed." He laughed shortly as he confessed, "There are some nights that lying beside you, we are in pain for most of the night."

"We will survive that, though. What we will not survive is if you do not love us and wish to be our mate, by the joining ritual. If we have to wait for the physical side of our joining to take place, we will wait."

"If you're serious and you truly want me for your mate, then—then my answer is yes, if—if I can function on a sexual level. I'll become your mate when I can make love with you, er, mate with you physically."

"Is that what you call it, Samantha, to make love? It is a pretty way of putting it and a true one also."

"We have a lot of words for it, but those are the ones I prefer. Martouf, would you try to kiss me, really kiss me? I—I want you too, but I don't know what will happen, and I'm afraid of my reactions."

"Come here, my Samantha. Lie here with me, and we will slowly begin to work our way toward that which you feel is so important. However, please understand that neither Lantash, nor I, wish to wait, my heart. We want you to be our mate in the eyes of our people."

Sam shook her head, "No, please, I need to be sure I can function as a woman. It—it's important to me that I come to you whole and able to be your mate in every way, not just in name." Her voice was soft, but firm. Taking a deep breath, she tilted her head up to him. "Will you try to kiss me now? Really kiss me, I mean?"

"_I suggest you lie down so that she must come to you and will be above us. In this way she will not feel over powered or trapped by our larger presence,"_ Lantash coached.

Martouf smiled, and then sobered, as he said, "I wish very much to kiss you, really kiss you. Come to me, my heart. I will try to remain very still, Samantha, and allow you to kiss me first," he said, as he laid back on the rock and simply watched her for a moment.

"_She may feel uncomfortable making the first move. You must encourage her by bringing her to us."_ Again Lantash shared his thoughts on what might be a problem to overcome.

Reaching out his hand as Sam hesitated, he caressed her cheek with the back of his hand and then let it trail down her neck and across her shoulder. When she didn't pull away, he clasped her more firmly and urged her toward him. He saw her swallow and then gasp, but she continued to move slowly toward him, her eyes fixed first on his, and then on his lips.

As Samantha leaned toward Martouf, she was surprised when he pulled her firmly to lie on top of him. Her eyes went to his instantly, she saw him smile gently, and he said, "If you are on top of me, Samantha, I will not be the threat I would be leaning over you. Nor will there be a doubt in your mind as to whether or not I want you, as I am afraid that even Lantash can do nothing about its obviousness."

Sam gasped, and then blushed, thankful that it was dark with only the moons and the stars to give them light.

Taking another steadying breath, she slowly lowered her mouth to his. As their lips met and clung, she realized how much she had wanted and needed to have him kiss her. And, for a while it was fine, until the passion burst into flame, and Martouf wrapped his arms tightly around her. The next thing he knew she was fighting him with surprising strength. Not wanting her to get hurt by falling, he tried wrapping her more tightly and talking to her, but it did not seem as if he was getting through; she was lost in a nightmare and could not seem to come back to him.

Martouf was surprised when Lantash took control and shook her sharply enough to make her cower from them. It also got her attention, and as she looked at them, he could tell when she realized that she was with them, and not in the stronghold of Gamtesh. She caught her breath on a sob and then asked, her voice rasping harshly in her throat, "Lantash? Oh, god, Oh, god, I thought you were…that they were…I'm sorry, I'm sorry." As she sobbed in fear and remorse, he slowly brought her forward and into his arms.

"Hush, beloved. It is all right and you are all right. Come, do not cry so, you will make yourself ill, as you did the first week. Samantha, I know what you are thinking, and you have not disappointed us in any way. We fully expected this reaction, and we will continue to expect it. You will get better and overcome it in time," Lantash continued to murmur and sooth her with his words, as he held her lightly and continued to rub her back gently. Feeling a bump on his leg, he looked down, and then he heard Samantha give a somewhat watery gasp and chuckle. Tashmar was standing on his back legs and balancing on his tail with his front legs on Lantash. He was offering Samantha a large dead bug.

"How," Lantash asked, with obvious laughter in his voice, "Am I supposed to compete with that? If he keeps plying you with gifts of food, you will desert me for him. He appears to be an excellent provider." He continued, as he watched Samantha's face and saw her smile slightly, at the somewhat incongruous sight.

He heard her sigh, softly, "He does it every time I cry or get upset. I really think he needs a mate of his own, but he doesn't seem to be looking for one. Do you think he might be too young?"

"I have no idea Samantha, my love, but as long as he can make you laugh even a little, I hope he stays around. He has become quite at home in the tunnels and most of us are used to him now. The story of how you confronted and won his respect and devotion is known and loved by everyone."

Lantash continued to distract her as he moved her around until she sat with her back against his chest. He bent his head slowly and kissed her shoulder lightly, then her neck. He felt her shiver, but it did not appear to be a shudder of distaste. He continued to hold her loosely and kiss her gently until on one of his forays up to her ear, she turned her head and moved so that instead of encountering her ear, he met her lips instead. The kiss was soft, gentle, and sweet, and he was careful not to allow his hold to tighten, no matter how badly he wished to crush her to him.

Slowly she turned more towards him, continued to examine his lips, and then she sat back and looked at him. "I love you. I do want you, I'm just afraid that I'll panic again and cause you to become disgusted by me and my inability to be completely a woman for you," she finally whispered unsteadily.

"Samantha, I will say this now, and I will repeat it as many times as is necessary until you finally believe me. Martouf and I love you. What happened to you was not your fault, and you are in no way to blame. We do not blame you now, we did not blame you before, and we will not blame you tomorrow, the next day, or ever. You do not disgust us in any way at all. You are beautiful and wonderful. You are everything we want, need, or desire in a mate. Moreover, whether or not you are ever capable of sexual joining with us matters little. Do we want and desire you? Very much so, but your body and its pleasures are not why we love you, it is simply a bonus if we can show our love to you in that way."

He sat quietly for a long moment as she sat with her head bent, gazing at her hands, and occasionally rubbing them as if they were dirty and needed to be wiped. He frowned at the unconscious signal she was sending about what she felt about herself.

"Samantha, I have asked you nothing about your capture and captivity. I have not questioned you because I respect your right to discuss these matters on your own terms, in your own time and with whom you wish. I have not asked Daniel, and I will not ask him what you endured, for you do not want me to know, that much is obvious. However, I feel I must say something about some of this. I believe you are keeping things from me because you have a false belief as to what I will feel about you once I know. Is that true?" He asked, as gently and quietly as he could and still be heard.

He heard her sniff and saw the teardrop as it made its way down her face. "I'm not sure they are false beliefs, and that's why I'm so afraid to tell you. What if it really does disgust you? What if you hate me for allowing them to do those things to me? Lantash, I don't know if I'll be able to tell anyone, ever. I'm so ashamed," Sam said, as she stared unseeing into the distance.

"Samantha I truly believe you have nothing of which to be ashamed, but I also think that, until you tell me, you are going to believe it will make me feel differently if I ever hear what happened to you. It will not, there is nothing I can think of in this universe that could ever make me do other than love you. I truly believe that you must tell me, so that you may see the truth of what I am saying." His voice was deep, earnest, and sincere.

Seeing her nod he was about to reach for her when she asked him, "Can we walk? Maybe over to those dunes and then sit there? I think it would be a little more comfortable than this rock, and I don't know how long it will take before I can do as you ask."

"Yes, love, we can," he replied, as he stood and climbed down off the rock. After helping her down, he gathered their rug, and they walked silently together to the dunes. She watched quietly, as he spread the rug and indicated she should sit. Once seated, she sat with her legs drawn up and her arms wrapped around her knees.

She looked up at the two full moons. It was quite bright now, whereas earlier it had been a little darker. Darker would have been better, she thought. Then she could have hidden from him. She was so afraid. Would telling him this cause the look of revulsion she was dreading to see to appear on his handsome face? Would it turn his eyes cold and distant? She didn't know, but she knew that she could no longer hide it from him. He was the one she loved, and if this was going to keep her from being able to share his life, then he had a right to know.

As she sat contemplating the moons and what she had to tell him, she made a startling discovery. She was ready to tell him. She needed to tell him because his reaction would indicate the direction the rest of her life would take. And suddenly, she wanted to know where her life was going. She had drifted long enough. Samantha Carter needed to take charge of her life again, but before she could do that and truly begin to heal, she had to know if her life would contain him and all he meant to her.

Sam looked over at them as they sat quietly. They did not appear restless or in a hurry for her to start, but they had to be tense. This was their life, too, she realized. They loved her. Her, Samantha Carter. Reaching over she took his hand in hers. It was a good hand, solid, trustworthy. It could comfort and it could kill. It had killed Gamtesh, she knew, and she had been glad, was still glad, for he had been pure evil. She clasped his hand convulsively and felt his fingers tighten in response. Then she felt him move and he clasped her loosely as he had done before. So, they were also gentle hands, understanding hands, loving hands. Hands that could make you feel safe and cared for. She settled back into his arms to begin her story.

TBC


	6. Healing 6 WAF

"_Italics" – Symbiote-Host communication_

* * *

_**When Angels Fall**_

**_Chapter Six _**

_**Healing**_

* * *

It was almost dawn. Lantash would have to awaken them soon to return to the tunnels. They had not been asleep for long, but he could not allow them to stay here once the sun arose. It had been a long and emotion filled night. When finally Samantha had brought herself to begin speaking of her ordeal, it was as if a damn had burst, and her words had flowed like a river. At first, the recital of what had taken place had been in a flat unemotional voice, but soon it contained all the emotions she had felt. Fear, loathing, rage, and pain were just a few of them. 

Regaining consciousness in a prison surrounded by the dead and dying had been the first horror. Next had been the guards and their games to pass the time in the stinking hell-hole they had put her in. The first attack and rape had surprised and frightened her. Subsequently, she had learned how to tell when it was about to happen again.

Then after two or three days, she really didn't know for sure, she had been taken and bathed and dressed along with the other women who were still alive. They had been taken into Gamtesh. Samantha's blond beauty had stood out, and she had immediately been chosen for his harem.

She had believed being in the prison was the worst that could have happened; she believed wrong. The first time they had taken her, she had fought. For that, she had spent two days having her bones broken and then waking in the sarcophagus. After that, the days had run together for her. The other women were terrified, and the first time he had used her as a concubine she had found out why. He was into pain. And blood. Moreover, he always wanted an audience, so the guards were brought in to watch, or participate, depending on what he wanted done. Sam had soon become a favorite because her pale skin showed the blood so much brighter than the dusky skinned ones. In addition, she had stamina that most didn't. She didn't die as easily. It took her longer.

Then Taira and Serata had been brought in. Sam couldn't stand the thought of the young girl being abused by him, so she had begun to hide her and make herself available to the guards so that they would choose her for their games—and his. But, in the end he had taken them and made them hosts for his children, and Sam had once again fought them.

Finally, Lantash knew what Daniel and his team had seen when they had found her in that room, and he had to use every suppression and numbing technique he had to keep Martouf from being violently ill. At the time. After she finally cried herself to sleep in his arms, he had laid her gently down, and he had gone far enough away that she would not hear, and he had cried and been violently sick several times.

Furthermore, he realized that Daniel had known all along, and that was why he often looked so sick when he looked at her, and he thought no one was looking. He had shared this pain as if it was his own, as he and Martouf were doing now. How was she living with these memories? He did not know, but he knew that he loved her more than ever. They would join as soon as he could arrange it and get her consent. Never would she have to wonder if he loved her still.

He looked over at patient Tash, who had stayed near her during the entire time. Through all the tears, and the anger, that had finally come. Through the screaming and crying and fighting, for she had fought with Lantash like a tiger in her anger, and all he could do was keep her from hurting herself, although he had let her hurt him. And, he had cried on the inside, as she had cried on the outside.

Finally, she had cried herself to sleep. Then, he had allowed Martouf to come forward, so that he could heal his many bruises and scratches while Martouf was sick for both of them. Now, he kept watch, thought, and relived—and relived and relived.

How could she survive this and heal? She was fine physically, but would she ever heal emotionally? Hearing soft steps, he quickly turned to address whoever approached. It was, of course, Daniel.

Stopping a few feet away, he nodded a greeting, his eyes going to Samantha's tear-stained face and tangled hair and then he smiled slightly, walked to the rug, and sat on the edge of it.

"So, she finally told you. I'm glad. She needed to be able to know that your love would remain regardless. It will remain, won't it?" Daniel looked at Lantash, who returned his regard coolly and calmly, showing little or no emotion on the outside, regardless the raging turmoil within him.

"Yes. She did. You knew," Lantash looked at him with respect. "You knew it all, and you shared it with no one. When did she confide in you, Daniel? Or was it the attendants and the girls while we were on the Tollan world?" He asked quietly.

"I learned a great deal from Serata. They, as much as possible, as you know, protected Taira. Until she was taken as a host. The attendants told me a lot. Sam, well, Sam told me the rest the day you had the council meeting. Lya and Nafrayu came while you were gone. No one ever mentioned them, so I assumed they simply used their abilities to move themselves to us. They can't heal the mind like they can the body, but Lya did something. It calmed Sam, and when she woke up, she was able to tell me things, things I didn't already know. I think that maybe Lya moved the knowledge of my information to Sam or something, because she was brief about all the things I already knew, and talked mostly of things I had no knowledge of."

"I think it helped some, as Lya knew it would, but not enough, also as Lya knew. But, it allowed her to get to a point where she could begin to talk of at least parts of it with Arwanna. And that, in turn, led to this episode with you. She's exhausted. Mentally, physically, emotionally exhausted. I believe this will help her, depending, of course, on how you handle what you have learned and how you treat her. She's very fragile right now," Daniel had explained softly, so as not to awaken her. "I sincerely hope that it hasn't changed your feelings for her."

Lantash smiled, wryly and somewhat sadly, "You do not trust me, and yet I have done nothing to show myself as less than honorable."

"That's very true, actually, but it isn't _"you_" as in Martouf and Lantash. I think I would feel the same about any man who wanted to take Sam from us. We'll miss her very much. She's very special and dear to all of us, but perhaps more so to me. She has been there for me on many occasions, and I, well, I decided a long time ago that I would also be there for her, anytime and for anything. So, you still haven't answered my question. Has what you've heard changed your feelings for her?"

"If it is possible, I love her more now than ever. Martouf as well, only loves her more, not less. Is that what you wished to know?" Lantash asked.

"Yes. And, although I know you would wish to let her sleep, the sun will be up soon, and she'd rather return to her room without an audience. Besides, Tashmar looks like he'd like to go home," Daniel said, as he smiled at Lantash. "What do you say we take them there?"

"An excellent idea, Daniel. If I carry Samantha can you get the rug?" Lantash asked.

"Yes, I think so. And Tash will follow Sam, so we don't even have to worry about him."

Nodding, Lantash woke Martouf, and then he bent to pick up Samantha. However, before he lifted her, he turned to Daniel, and said, "One last question. Why did you tell no one?"

"Because it wasn't my place. I knew Sam would tell you when she was ready, and besides, everything she told me was in confidence," Daniel said quietly.

"And yet by sharing it you might have shared the pain, for you felt it, did you not?" Lantash spoke his voice equally solemn. As the two men stared at one another, Lantash's eyes widened.

"You told Jacob you would tell him, but you have not. You have told him only that which you could color lightly and keep his curiosity dampened. I thank you for that. There is no need for him to know of this. His pain as her father would be great."

"Yes. I know. Now come on, lets get these two home and in bed. I don't think Tash likes it out here."

Agreeing, Lantash leaned down, lifted Samantha into his arms, and held her against his heart, as they made their way back to the tunnels. She snuggled close to him, but did not awaken.

* * *

"So, Daniel, you ready to come home yet?" Jack O'Neill picked up a doohickey in the room they were in and looked at it closely. 

"Jack, that's Anise's, and I doubt she'd appreciate it if you screw up her readings. As for your question, I don't know when I'll be back. Whenever Sam no longer needs me. It's only been a little over eight weeks, you know. Sam still has a lot of pain and anger to work through." Daniel reached over and removed the instrument. "Freya won't be able to protect you, leave stuff alone," he said, exasperated.

"So, Daniel, is the snake still attracted to you? I mean, we know she was before, so is that a, ah, problem for you?"

"No, Jack, it's not a problem for me, and I happen to like her now that I've gotten to know her better. Freya, too. Especially now that they have a little better dress sense."

"You mean she's not wearing those little," Jack made a movement with his hands indicating his meaning.

"No. She's not. And, stop it. Like I said, Jack," Daniel said softly, but firmly, "I've grown to really like her. She grew up in a culture that is different, but that doesn't make them wrong. We happen to have a lot in common. Consequently, I'd appreciate it if you'd knock it off."

"So Daniel, when are you gonna tell me what really happened while Carter was a prisoner? Don't you think I need to know? I have to know what to expect when she comes back and is part of the team again."

"I don't think it's my place to tell you that, Jack. You'll have to ask Sam, and personally, I don't think she'll tell you, and I don't think it will matter. If I were you, I'd drop it. Janet's happy with the progress she's making, and that's the important thing," Daniel said. "Aren't you going to go see her while you're here?"

"Well, yeah, I just thought I'd talk to you first to see if there was anything I should know, you know, before I talked to her."

"No, I don't think so. Come on, she's probably in the lab with Arwanna. They've become friends, and although Arwanna is mostly a healer, she's kind of into physics and stuff. A very bright lady."

As they walked down the hall, Jack turned to Daniel, to ask, "How's Jacob? He handling everything okay?"

"Yeah. He went to get supplies today, but they should be back before long. Hey, did I tell you that Lya and Nafrayu came to see Sam right after we got here?" Daniel asked, suddenly remembering the incident. "I guess the Tollan contacted them."

"Good. I asked if they could make contact with them and see if there was anything they could do for Carter. Did she help?" Jack wanted to know.

"Well, she couldn't heal her mind, but she did help her somehow. At least, Sam seemed to be better after they were here. She said they'd be back, but, as far as I know, they haven't been," he said, as he turned into the lab where Sam had been spending a lot of her time.

As they entered, there was a sudden hissing and stomping sound. As they stopped and looked at Sam, she looked down and said, "Now, Tash, what's the matter with you? It's just Daniel."

Suddenly, the lizard stood on his hind legs and ran straight at Jack, who ran behind a table of equipment. Tash stood with his front legs on the table, his tail lashing, hissing threateningly. "What the hell is that thing? Who ever heard of a guard lizard? Carter, call this thing off," Jack said, as he stayed back several feet from the table.

Sam sat dumbfounded at her pet's behavior, Daniel laughed, and Arwanna hid her smiles.

"Carter, do something," Jack said, as the lizard got down and began to move around the table toward him.

"Stomp, Sir."

"What?"

"I said, stomp. Stomp your feet."

So, Jack stomped and Tashmar stomped back and hissed for good measure. Daniel laughed so hard he had to hold his ribs, and tears ran down his face. Lantash walked into the room and took the entire situation in, at a glance. Hiding his smiles, he said sternly, "Tashmar, you will come. Down." The lizard looked at him and then back at Jack. With a final lash of his tail showing his displeasure at being stopped from his sport, he returned, obviously disgruntled, to his place at Samantha's feet.

Jack straightened his jacket and straightened his shoulders. "Where'd you get that thing, Carter? And don't think you're bringing it back to earth with you because we can't have something like that attacking people all over the SGC."

"Since Samantha will not be returning anytime soon, that will not yet be a problem." Lantash had seen the panicked look his love had sent him and smoothly changed his sentence. Nevertheless, he was concerned. Why did she not want him to announce their plans? He frowned slightly. Was she having second thoughts? She was still refusing the joining because she could not bear to go through with "making love" as she so sweetly called it.

"_Stop worrying, Lantash. Samantha simply wishes to announce it in her own time. And she is correct. Much as we would like to, it is her place to do this,"_ Martouf, for once, counseled Lantash.

"_I am aware, Martouf. That does not mean I must like it,"_ Lantash replied.

They were brought back to the conversation going on around them when Jack walked around the table, and Tash once again stood and began to stomp and hiss.

"I believe, Colonel O'Neill, that perhaps you should stay back from Samantha. Tash, as you can see, is very protective of her. He has been since the first day he adopted her and tried to feed her his breakfast."

Seeing the joy on Carter's face as she looked at the Tok'Ra, Jack knew that it wasn't just that she wouldn't be returning anytime soon. She wouldn't be returning at all. He took a deep breath against the pain, and let go of a nebulous dream he'd held for a long time. If the Tok'Ra made her happy, and it was patently obvious that he did, then that was what really mattered, wasn't it? Suddenly, Tash walked over and licked his hand. Well, at least the lizard knew what he was going through.

* * *

It had been ten weeks since Sam had come to stay with her father on Corlatt. She was healing, but it was very slow. Some days, she despaired of ever being well enough to physically mate with Martouf and Lantash. She wanted too, she just couldn't seem to get farther than a few kisses. As soon as intimacy was broached, she froze and then sometimes continued from there to panic. Lantash had been patience itself. Her love for them continued to grow. She just wished she could express it. 

And, she wished she could feel clean again. Mentally, she understood why she had these feelings. Emotionally, she was still a long way from where she desperately wanted to be.

Lya and Nafrayu stood beside the sleeping platform and infused their healing energy into Samantha Carter. She smiled softly at the beautiful thoughts that filled her mind. There was no more pain; she was healed and whole. She came awake slowly, stretched, and turned over onto her back. She frowned though because Lantash and Martouf were not there this morning as they usually were. They had mentioned nothing that they needed to do.

Sitting up, she realized that Daniel was there with her, and he was smiling. Seeing her awake, he sat down beside her. "Hi Sam. How ya doin'?" He asked softly.

"I'm fine, Daniel, but where is Martouf? Is it morning?" She asked, somewhat confused.

"Well, it's about 01:00 hours. Martouf couldn't sleep, and he asked me to sit with you in case you awoke, while he went for a walk. He's on the surface. How do you feel?"

"I feel," Sam paused, and then looked at Daniel, "I feel clean, Daniel. I feel clean," she gasped. "What's happened to me?"

"Lya and Nafrayu were just here. You remember I told you they came when you were first here and I thought they helped you?" at Sam's nod he continued, "Well, Lya said they worked on a healing technique for the mind. That's why she didn't come back sooner. They've had no need for something like this, but because of what she saw in your mind, they worked on this, came here, and used it on us. Both of us, Sam. They helped me, too. I'm finally able to let go of some of the pain I've been carrying, too."

"Oh, Daniel, I'm so glad. I worry about you sometimes. I'm glad they helped you," Sam said, looking at him with all the love she felt for him showing in her face.

Daniel smiled the sweet smile she loved so much, and said, "Well, if you're going to go find your mate, I think I'll go back to, um, to my room."

Intrigued by his stuttered statement, Sam looked at him closely, "I see. I like her now that I know her better, Daniel, and you have a lot in common. Be happy, please. You deserve it."

"So do you, Sam. So, go take a walk on the surface, and take that rug thing with you. Maybe you'll need it. I'll take Tash with me. He'll be fine. He likes her, too. G'night Sam." Daniel leaned over and kissed her softly before he left. Sam grabbed a cloak, thinking that it might come in handy, and the rug.

She headed for the rings, and she didn't even notice the men standing guard who watched her go to the surface. Once there, she headed for the dunes, one of the places he seemed to enjoy the most. She didn't have far to go before she saw him. He was sitting with his knees drawn up and his head resting on them. He was so lost in thought, he didn't hear her walk up to him.

When she touched his shoulder, he spun and took his attacker out so that he landed on his back in the sand, and he had him penned in one fluid move. "Remind me to say your name while I'm still a long way away," Sam said breathlessly.

He immediately rolled off her, "I am so sorry, Samantha. It was purely reflex. Are you hurt, my love?"

"I'm not sure. Why don't you spread out the rug so I can get off of the sand?" she asked him.

"Of course," he said, and taking it from her, he spread it out before turning to her. "Are you all right? Do you need help?" He asked anxiously.

"Perhaps you could help me up?" she asked softly.

"It would be my pleasure, my love," he said, as he reached down and helped her to stand. After shaking the sand from her gown and cloak, she took the cloak off and folded it to make a pillow and then lay down on the rug.

"Aren't you going to join me, Martouf?" Sam asked him.

"Yes, of course," he smiled at her, but she noticed that the smile didn't reach his eyes, although he sat down beside her.

"What's wrong, Martouf? Have I done something to upset you?" Sam asked him anxiously.

"No, it is me, my love. I just needed to see the stars. Sometimes I become restless. I did not mean to awaken you. I am sorry."

"You didn't wake me. Lya and Nafrayu woke me." Sam smiled softly. "They helped me again."

"Did they?" He reached out, caressed her cheek, and then shivered, as she turned to kiss the knuckles that brushed her cheek.

"Will you kiss me, Martouf?" Sam asked quietly.

Taking a shaky breath, he answered, as steadily as he could, "If you wish me to, Samantha." Sam watched, smiling to herself as Lantash took over, and she realized it was a safety precaution they had been using. Lantash always took over when they kissed or caressed one another. He had the control to keep from frightening her that Martouf was afraid he lacked after the first time, when he had tightened his arms around her, and she had panicked.

He had lain down and was waiting for her to raise herself above him so that she could control what happened. She didn't think it was necessary anymore, but she'd continue, at least for the moment.

Sam raised herself and lowered her mouth to his. Their lips met and clung and she felt his arms come around her and hold her loosely. She deepened the kiss and then began to caress him more intimately than she had done in the past. Then, curious, she reached behind his head and stroked his neck. She felt Lantash move slightly, a faint tremor just under the skin so she repeated the motion. Again, she got a response, but this time, he also moaned slightly, too.

"Samantha, you must stop what you are doing. I cannot be responsible for my reactions if you continue," Lantash told her, as he gently removed her hand from his neck. "I will not frighten you, again. Why are you smiling?"

"I have something I need to ask you," she said, without answering his question.

"You know you may ask me anything, beloved." He assured her.

"All right. Lantash," she said softly, "Will you marry me following the custom of my people, as I will join with you following the custom of your people?" She whispered just before her lips once again sought his.

Drawing back when he didn't respond to her kiss, she looked at him quizzically. "Are you so surprised, Lantash, or is it that you've changed you mind about wishing to take me as your mate?"

He looked at her in wonder. "Are you saying what I think you are, my Samantha? Are you saying you will join with me?"

"Yes," she said. "Yes." Looking deeply into his eyes, she smiled slightly, as she lay down beside him. "Come to me, my love? Give me all of yourself, Lantash. I wish to be your mate, yours and Martouf's, in all ways. Now, tonight. Come, be one with me, for you _are_ my _beloved_," her whispered words were taken by the night wind, but not before he heard her.

"Yes, Samantha. Yes, my _beloved_."

TBC 


	7. The Wind Beneath Her Wings 7 WAF

"_Italics" – Symbiote-Host communication_

* * *

_**When Angels Fall**_

**_Chapter Seven_**

**_The Wind Beneath Her Wings_**

* * *

The SGC hadn't changed in the last five months. It was still gray, it was still deep underground, and it still had a pulse, rhythm, and scent all it's own. Daniel stopped in the open door of his office and took a deep breath. Somehow, he wasn't surprised to see Jack there. Nor was he surprised by the look of pain on his face. Mentally bracing himself and taking another deep breath, he walked into the room. 

Hey, Jack," he said, to the man standing, staring unseeing at his desk, who whirled at the sound of his voice.

"Hey. Daniel. How you doin'?" He asked, the cheery note in his voice obviously forced.

"I'm doing well, Jack. How're you doin'?" Daniel asked, as he looked at his friend with sympathy in his eyes. This was going to be hard, he knew, but he had promised Sam.

"I'm actually doing better than I thought I'd be. I'm surprised at the agreement of the President to make an exception in Carter and Martouf's case and allow them to be on a team together," Jack said.

Then seeing Daniel's somewhat skeptical look, he added, "I think I'm gonna be okay, Daniel. There was never anything there really, although we both sometimes pretended that if it wasn't for the military, there would be. The truth is that I'd have bored Carter in a week and she'd have driven me nuts with her techno-babble. We're just too different, and much as I hate to have to admit it, Martouf probably is the better man for her. I just really wish he wasn't, well, you know."

Pausing he cleared his throat and turning to fiddle with a statue on Daniel's desk, he finally asked, "Do you think, well, that is, will they, will they be happy, Daniel? Carter deserves to be happy, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. And yes, they will be. They love her very deeply. Do you really think they'd leave the Tok'Ra, even part of the time like this, if they didn't? Have you thought of what it's going to be like for them? Lantash will only be able to come forward here, when they're with us or they're home alone or again, with us. It's going to be very hard for them to adjust here, more so than it is for Sam there. She really enjoys being with the Tok'Ra, Jack. She'd have stayed with them, but Martouf and Lantash wanted her to be with her own people, especially now."

Daniel waited quietly for the question he knew would come, and that Sam had asked him to answer, if at all possible, before the ceremony, to be sure Jack didn't hear it from someone else. Therefore, he waited for his words to sink in and for Jack to ask the question. It didn't take long. Daniel watched as Jack's knuckles turned white as he gripped the statue. Thank goodness, it was solid and couldn't be crushed.

Looking at the statue in his hand, Jack asked softly, "Why especially now, Daniel? What's so different now than a couple of months ago when she was going to stay with the Tok'Ra? Wasn't she going to go ahead and blend or something? Whatever happened to that?" Still he didn't look at Daniel.

"Sam's two and a half months pregnant, Jack. They'll be spending time in both places until the baby's born, and then they'll decide what would be best for all of them. The Tok'Ra are on the run a lot and raising a baby might be better here. They're going to have to see how it works out. Now that Sam knows she can get pregnant, she won't blend until they have all the children they want. However, there's no doubt that she'll be blended eventually. Not because Martouf is pressuring her either, but because she wants to."

Daniel watched as Jack controlled his emotions. "She's pretty much walking on air, and Martouf and Lantash are in shock, but they're also very excited. Janet wants Sam here, of course, and the healers on the Tok'Ra base would like to have her there. Who knows where they'll end up, but for now, they are going to be here and on SG1. Martouf and Lantash will be an excellent addition to the team, Jack. He's got a lot of intel and knowledge to help us. In a couple of months, Sam will have to start slowing down some, too. So having Martouf already on the team will be a help."

Jack put the statue down. He knew the worst now, and he could cope with this. Turning to Daniel, he said, "Yeah, he probably will be a help and an asset."

Changing the subject, he asked, "So what's this I hear about Anise and Freya taking part in an exchange program? She's gonna be here for several months working with you and then you'll go there for several months? What's that all about?" Seeing the flush rise in Daniel's cheeks, he looked at him with wide eyes and an open mouth. "You're kidding, right? Daniel, tell me you're kidding."

"Sorry, Jack, but I'm not kidding. Anise and I were attracted, and then I got to know Freya, and the next thing we knew we were, um, well we were falling in love. I do love them, Jack. I'm glad they are going to be here, and I hope you can manage to be civil to them. I know that at one time Freya was kind of sweet on you, but things have changed so…" He left the sentence dangling, as he looked at Jack.

"That's not a problem, Daniel. I won't be trying to ah, no, no way, no. Nada. Not going to happen," Jack was firm in his reassurance.

"Good. Cause I don't want to have to compete with you, either. I'm glad to know you never had any wish to, well, that you just weren't interested."

Jack seemed to notice for the first time that Daniel was wearing the pants and a cummerbund that would be worn with a tux. "Um, why are you dressed like that Daniel? Are you in this ceremony?"

"Yes, I'm standing as best man to Martouf and Lantash along with Malek. Janet and Anise are standing with Sam. The ceremony's only a few hours away Jack. I wanted to talk to you and, since I didn't know how much time I'd have left, I got dressed first." Daniel grinned, and said, "Now, I have to go help Martouf figure out how to get into his. He's a nervous wreck already."

"So is it a traditional wedding then? I haven't heard many details; Teal'c and I've been off world a lot. In fact, we were on Eudora last week. I'm thinking of taking a vacation there or maybe on Argos. I've been there a few times lately on my days off. Serata told me the last time I was there that Narim has been a frequent visitor. Pretty regularly, too, from what I gathered," Jack said, nonchalantly."

"I'm glad, Jack. I'll be sure to let Sam know. I'm glad you've checked on Serata and that Narim's taking an interest there. I liked what little I saw of her, and I think she'd appeal to him," Daniel said thoughtfully.

"Yeah, he has, and I'm glad cause I know it bothered Carter. Narim, I mean," Jack said. "Well, listen, I'll let you go get Martouf ready for the big moment. You didn't answer my question though. Is it a traditional wedding with all the trappings?" Jack asked again.

"Yes and no. Martouf asked Sam to wear something blue to match her eyes, so she's wearing a gown that Anise designed for her, and no it isn't like that. It's a deep blue and it's made like a traditional gown except for the color. It's beautiful. They discussed the service and decided on a combination of Tok'Ra and Tau'ri words and phrases. And the General and Garshaw are presiding."

He paused before adding, "You know the Government is giving Martouf citizenship. He'll get his identification under the name of Martouf Lantash. Which means they're also probably going to recognize the marriage as legit." Watching Jack closely, he asked, "Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

Jack nodded decisively, "Yes, I am, and I'm happy for Carter, Daniel. I'll tell her myself after the wedding, but if you get a chance to tell her for me, please do." A sudden thought seemed to hit him. "Are they giving him a rank, too?"

Daniel grinned, "Yes. Jacob's been bringing him up to speed on how the military here really functions and what he'll need to know. I think he'll end up being an excellent officer. He's used to a lot of responsibility and to commanding others."

"He'll be a Major like Sam. Major Lantash, which Martouf is having a problem answering to. The Government didn't take the side affects of the name into consideration."

Jack gave a whoop of laughter as he pictured Lantash appearing to answer one of the Pentagon bigwigs as they called him Major Lantash. Maybe this entire situation would have a few good laughs in it. It was worth looking on the bright side of it anyway. Looking squarely at Daniel again, he reiterated, "You tell Carter I'm happy for her, about both the marriage and the baby, Okay?"

"I'll tell her, Jack, don't worry. She'll be happy to hear it. She wants you and Narim to be happy, you know that." Looking at his watch, he said, "I've really got to go and help Martouf."

"Go ahead, Daniel, I really am fine. In fact, there's something I need to do," he said, as he headed for the door. He needed to see the General. He had a plan to help Sam and to make this day one she'd remember with nothing but joy. Suddenly, he stopped, turned back towards Daniel, and said, "Tell me, tell me the lizard isn't coming, Daniel, please."

Daniel grinned at him and was tempted, but in the end, he told the truth, "I'm afraid Sam's been deserted, Jack. Tash found a girlfriend of his own, and he's moved in with her. He does still visit the tunnels, though, and he's brought his girlfriend a couple of times. The girlfriend seemed very taken with Jacob, so Martouf named her Jacarta," Daniel assured him solemnly.

Jack grinned at him, then laughed at the mental picture of Jacob and a lovelorn lizard. Daniel was glad to hear him whistling as he took off down the hall.

* * *

The Stargate whooshed; Jack waved and headed out. He stepped out onto the steps of the Stargate on Argos. Walking rapidly, he reached the little village quickly and soon the people, including Taira and Serata, surrounded him. He quickly explained why he was there. Several of the villagers wished to attend Carter's wedding. One of them was Kynthia. He smiled at her. She and the two girls as well as the couple they'd had first contact with went to change, while he went back to the gate. 

As he stepped onto the Tollan world, he hoped he wasn't wrong. It didn't take long for him to contact Narim.

"Colonel O'Neill, it is always a pleasure to see you. To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?" Narim greeted him in his quiet polite way.

"It's good to see you, too. Listen, I don't have much time, so I'm going to be straight to the point. Rumor has it that you've been seeing Serata. Is that a serious thing, or are you just checking on them?" Jack asked bluntly.

Narim straightened and looked at Jack intently, before saying, "I have been finding myself drawn to her. The Nox helped both her and Taira to overcome their fears and pain. We are becoming close, although I have not yet requested that she become my partner. Why do you ask?"

"Carter is getting married today." Jack said bluntly.

Narim looked at him blankly for a moment and then light seemed to dawn, and he said, "She and the Tok'Ra, Martouf, are taking one another as life partners?"

"Yes. Today, in a couple of hours. Serata, Taira and Kynthia, as well as Alekos and his wife are coming to the wedding. I thought you might want to come, as an escort for Serata," he said, with meaning in his voice.

Narim nodded slowly, and then said calmly, "Samantha has felt guilt over me, Colonel? And this is to relieve her mind, is it not? I will be happy to attend. If you will wait, I will be ready in a few minutes. You are in your dress uniform so I assume it is a formal affair?"

"Well, not extremely formal. Just, you know, wear something nice, if you know what I mean? And we don't have much time," Jack said, as he followed him to his apartment.

"Please, make yourself comfortable and I will be with you momentarily." Speaking from the other room as he dressed, he said, "I assume we are to go from here to Argos and then to Earth. Was Serata excited about attending?"

"Yeah, she was excited, come to think of it, but I think a lot of that was because I told her you might be going," Jack answered him.

Ten minutes later, coming into the room, changed and ready to go, Narim said, "Tell me, Colonel, is it customary to give a gift at the time of a joining?"

"You will be giving her a gift, Narim, and so will I, don't you think?" Jack asked.

Looking thoughtful for a moment, Narim finally nodded, 'Yes, I see what you mean." Smiling in his usual quiet way, he said, "Then let us go, so that we can deliver our gift to her on time."

The two men left the room together and headed for the Stargate, ready to complete their mission.

* * *

"Martouf would you just stand still?" Daniel asked, for the tenth time. "Lantash, please, take control before Martouf makes himself sick or ends up going into his wedding half naked." 

His eyes flashing, Lantash said stiffly, "I am not sure why you think I will be any better than Martouf, Daniel. Do you think I have no emotional feelings over this event?" He asked, as he jerked under Daniel's hands as Daniel tried for the eleventh time to get his tie tied correctly. "Why must I wear this thing around my neck? It is very uncomfortable, and I do not like the feel of it." He stated almost petulantly.

Hiding his amusement, Daniel replied, "You realize, you sound like the typical Tau'ri bridegroom. You have to wear it because you insisted that Sam have at least a halfway traditional Tau'ri wedding. In a traditional Tau'ri wedding, the men dress like this. And most of them complain about it, just like you are."

"Will you please stand still?" Daniel said exasperatedly at the end of another five-minute struggle to get the tie correctly tied. "Selmak, can you do anything for these two?" Daniel turned to ask, as Jacob entered the room. His question was asked of Selmak, but Jacob answered.

"Nope, not a thing we can do. It's all part of the marriage ceremony. The groom gets sick to his stomach and can't sit still. Here, I brought some port. It won't do anything for them, but it will give them something to do besides worry about screwing up their vows."

Jacob cautioned Lantash as he reached for the glass, "Whatever you do, don't spill it on your shirt." Watching as they took the glass, he further commented, "If you don't stop shaking so much, you're gonna spill it for sure."

Lantash sent him a disgruntled look, but made more of an effort to remain calm and to steady his and Martouf's nerves.

"There. Finally," Daniel announced, as he managed to do a decent job, while Lantash had been paying attention to Jacob. "If it takes as long to fasten the cufflinks as it did to tie the tie, we won't be ready in time for the ceremony. Give me your arm, Lantash." He sighed as Lantash began to fidget as he attempted to fasten the links, and he watched as he took another glass of port and finished it off in one swallow. "It's a good thing it doesn't affect them. At that rate we'd be holding him up by the time the ceremony starts." Daniel laughed suddenly at the mental picture and Jacob grinned as he had the same one.

"Almost too bad it doesn't have an affect," Jacob commented.

"How is Samantha, Jacob? Is she nervous? It is not making her feel unwell, is it? She has been sick lately, as you know, and I am worried about her. She seems to be unwell for no reason at all. I have been with her at all hours of the day and night when she is ill, and it is most disconcerting."

"It's called morning sickness, Lantash, as I'm sure she's explained, and it will probably pass in a month or two, although it can be terrible at the time."

"But, it does not happen in the morning, Jacob. It happens at all hours." Lantash answered anxiously. "I am very worried."

"Well, you can stop. Janet gave her something for it, and she doesn't appear to be very nervous. She's not having any second thoughts, she's just quietly happy, or so she seems to me." He looked at Daniel. "The reason I'm here is because she asked to talk to you, Daniel."

Looking surprised, Daniel said, "Well, okay, if you can keep Martouf and Lantash from walking a rut in the floor and finish getting them dressed, I'll go talk to her. Be back shortly," he called as he headed out the door wondering what Sam wanted.

* * *

After knocking on the door, Daniel smiled as Anise opened it. He kissed her lightly and then looked into the room and caught his breath. "She is a beautiful 'bride?', is she not? I have the correct word?" Anise asked. 

Smiling at her, Daniel said, "Yes and yes. You're looking beautiful, too." Looking over at Janet he said, "In fact all three of you are looking lovely." He was surprised when Janet and Anise thanked him and then left the room.

"What's wrong, Sam?" Daniel asked, as he saw the anxiety in her eyes.

"I was," she drew a deep breath, and tried again, "I was wondering if you've told anyone about, well, about the baby." She looked at him, her real question in her eyes.

"Yes. I told Jack. He's okay, Sam. In fact, he told me to please tell you that he's really happy for you, and I believe he means it. I think Narim is going to be all right, too. I hear he's spending a lot of time on Argos with Serata. And, Jack's been to both Argos and Eudora lately. He really will be fine. You can stop feeling guilty about both of them." As always, Daniel read her mind.

Smiling tremulously, she said, "I'm so relieved, Daniel." Hesitating for a moment, she then went on to ask, "Did you know that Narim called me his fallen angel? At first, I though he meant I was soiled, unclean, but then I finally remembered the rest of what he said. He was telling me that even though I'd fallen I could get up with help from my friends. And, I did. That's why I asked you to come here. I have something to tell you."

"You don't have to say anything, Sam, I know. Jack was the one to ask the Tollan to contact the Nox, you know. He's the one you should thank."

"I will, Daniel, but you're the one that made it possible. I didn't remember for quite a while, but then it came back to me in bits and pieces until I had it all. Lya used you, with your consent, didn't she? The first time she came, they didn't know what to do for me, so she did the only thing she could think of, and she gave you part of my pain so that I could begin to function. You shared all of it. The pain, the memories, all the emotions I was feeling. You suffered for weeks until she came back again, and you didn't tell anyone, not even me."

"It's okay, Sam. I wanted to do it. And, they didn't just give me all that and not give me other things too, things that helped to work against it, just as they did you. And, the second time she came, they had figured out how to really help you to get past it. Me, too. Not just your pain, but the pain I was carrying over Sha'uri. It helped me more than I can say, Sam. So I should thank you."

Sam laughed lightly, "Only you, Daniel, would thank someone for making them miserable." She shook her head as she looked at him, and said, "That's not all I wanted to say. I did want to thank you for everything you did to help me and all the time you spent with me."

"But, there's something even more important that I wanted to tell you. I don't know why we always wait to say things to people, but I'm not waiting any longer and taking a chance that something happens, and I never said it. I thought about it while I was held by Gamtesh. It's what made me realize that I loved Martouf and Lantash, that it wasn't just Jolinar. And, there's something I've never said to you that I want to say, and I want to say it now. I love you, Daniel Jackson, and I think I will until the day that I die. I have for a very long time, and I wanted you to know. That's all." Daniel watched as a tear rolled down her cheek.

Daniel took her in his arms and hugged her to him. Wiping her cheek, he kissed her gently, and said, "Ah, Sam, I love you, too. I have for a very long time, and I know I always will. Be happy, Sam."

"You too, Daniel, I want that as much as I've ever wanted anything." Sniffing and smiling all at the same time, she said, 'You probably should go back although I imagine you're getting bored waiting by now. I imagine you're all bored to death."

"Ah, no, Sam, I haven't had time to get bored. Martouf and Lantash both are nervous wrecks. If they aren't pacing, they're sitting down and then popping back up like a jack-in-the-box. I had to try fourteen times before he'd stand still long enough for me to get his tie tied. I don't think I've ever seen Lantash like this. I can see Martouf being nervous, but not Lantash. I'm never going to let him forget it."

"Oh, Daniel, they haven't changed their minds, have they? Maybe they don't want to go through with it, and that's why they're so upset," Sam said, suddenly upset herself at the thought.

"No. No, that's not it at all. I think they're afraid you're going to change your mind. Not seeing you all last night or today is taking a toll on them, let me tell you."

Sam smiled, and gave Daniel another kiss. "Take that to them, and tell them I can hardly wait to be joined to them. Please?"

"With pleasure, Sam. I'll see you shortly. It won't be much longer now."

"I know. It can't happen fast enough for me." She said, as he smiled his sweet smile at her. With a wave, he headed back to the nervous grooms.

* * *

"What did she want, Daniel? She has changed her mind, has she not? She has decided that she does not wish to become my mate and that we should not do this." Martouf was back in control and, if anything, he was more nervous than ever. 

"No, that isn't what she wanted. She simply wanted me to reassure you that she hadn't changed her mind, and that she was excited and looking forward to becoming your mate. Stop stressing over this, Martouf. You're going to mess up just from being nervous if you don't calm down," Daniel said, with all the patience he could find. "It won't be long now, so just try to calm down. Really."

"You are correct, Daniel. I should not be so nervous. I will try to become calmer. Perhaps if I make an effort to stay still and take some deep breaths, Lantash will have more success in dampening the chemicals that are no doubt flooding my system."

"I'm sure he would," Jacob spoke up. "Listen, I have to go be with Sam. I get to walk in with her, you know. That's part of the traditional Tau'ri wedding that I'm going to enjoy. I'll talk to you later, and remember that you're among friends, and everyone wishes you and Sam well, Martouf. So, just calm down. Later, Daniel," Jacob said, as he breezed out the door and left Martouf with Malek and Daniel.

"I, too, believe you should try to remain calm, Martouf," Malek advised. "You are going to wish to do the ceremony correctly, and being nervous will not be conducive to that. I believe I need to go get the flowers now, is that correct, Daniel?"

"Oh, yeah, for the lapels. Cassie will have them, I think," Daniel said, after giving it some thought. As soon as Malek left the room, Martouf turned to him.

"What did Samantha truly want, Daniel? She could have sent that message with her father. I would appreciate the truth, please."

Daniel drew in a breath, before saying quietly, "She wanted to thank me for agreeing to share the pain she was experiencing. The first time Lya came, she didn't really know what to do for her. So, they gave her beautiful thoughts and transferred some of her memories and pain to me so that she had less to cope with. I realize I didn't tell you that when I talked to you that night, but I didn't want Sam to realize, and I was afraid you might slip and let her know. Anyway, she's remembered what Lya did, that it wasn't a dream she had, and she wanted to let me know that she appreciated it."

"The second time they came, they had figured out how to heal the mind, as you know. Obviously," Daniel grinned at him, "Since Sam had to have become pregnant that night or shortly thereafter." He laughed, as Martouf flushed before Lantash could control it. He was too busy with other emotions and hormone levels, the adrenaline not the least of what was running rampant through Martouf's system.

Martouf smiled, but said, "There is something else though. That is not all she wanted either. She finally told you she loves you. I am glad. It has been worrying her that she had never told you."

Daniel looked at him with relief that he didn't seem to mind.

"She has every reason to love you, Daniel. I understand, and I understand that you love her. I also understand that it is not in the way that she and I love, therefore, it is quite acceptable to me."

"Good. Cause you're right and I do love her." Looking at his watch, he said, "Thirty minutes. It won't be long now." They turned as Malek came back with the boutonnieres and Anise and Janet who helped them put them on. Daniel watched, as Martouf seemed to gather himself together. After taking a few deep breaths, he seemed noticeably calmer. Finally.

* * *

"Sam, you look beautiful. You remind me of your mother," Jacob said softly to his daughter. "She'd have been happy for you, Sammie, and so am I. Martouf and Lantash are good men. They love you, and they'll take care of you to the best of their ability. Yes," he said, holding up his hand, "I know that you can take care of yourself for the most part. I just meant that you'll be precious to them, and they'll do everything they can to make you happy." 

"I know, Dad. I love them too. So much. I can't believe I ever wondered if it was Jolinar or me. Our feelings were similar, but mine were different. Now they've finally merged and the love for them is one feeling. I'm so full of emotions today. I feel like I could cry a river or dance forever. I want to laugh and cry all at the same time, but I don't think its nervousness. I think it's excitement. I feel as if someone's given me the universe and told me I can do anything I want."

"Your mother said something very similar the day we were married. She said she felt as if someone had just given her the world and told her she could have it all and do it all." He smiled as he remembered that day.

"I love you, Dad. I love you very much. I should tell you more often," Sam said suddenly.

"I love you, too, Sam, I love you too." He smiled at her as he held her in his arms, and then he said, "Sel wants to tell you something." He bowed his head, Sam watched as Selmak took control.

"Major Carter. Samantha, I wish to tell you that I too care very much for you. I share your father's deep love for you, and I am proud of my daughter on this day. Jacob is correct. You are a very beautiful woman."

"Why, thank you. I care for you very much too. I'm glad my dad has you. I don't think I ever thanked you for giving him back to me, and I should have. I've never forgotten, even if I've never said anything. Thank you."

"Jacob also gave me life, Samantha. Without him, I would certainly have died. The benefits were, and are, mutual. I thank you for giving him to me." Leaning forward, he surprised Sam by kissing her lightly on the cheek.

Looking at his watch, Jacob took control and said, "Fifteen minutes, Sam. It won't be long now."

* * *

"Thank you for inviting us, Colonel. I am truly happy for Samantha," Serata said, in her soft voice as she stood at Narim's side. 

"No problem. I thought seeing you and Narim would make the day even more special for her. I'm glad you agreed to come," Jack said, as he smiled at the quiet spoken young woman. Quiet, gentle, and intelligent, she was perfect for Narim.

He saw Teal'c talking to the younger sister. She seemed fine with the huge warrior, no longer afraid of him just because he was male and a Jaffa. As they all took seats, Teal'c and Taira smiled at them as they waited for the ceremony to begin. It should start within minutes.

What sounded like a flute accompanied by a guitar and perhaps a harp began to play. They watched as Garshaw and General Hammond mounted some steps to a ramp that had been placed on the other side of the gate. The gate looked odd, but somehow right, festooned in white and blue satin, laces, ribbons, and flowers. All blue and white except for the occasional deep red rose. The rose that says, "I love you."

Jack had barely made it back with his guests before they had started to decorate it. It looked—wedding-like—he thought.

Everyone turned, as Martouf, Daniel, and Malek entered and mounted the ramp, the deep blue of the tuxedos and the white shirts, matching the gate decorations. Jack grinned as Martouf reached up to loosen the tie around his neck, only to be stopped by Daniel's hand on his arm.

Suddenly, the tone of the music changed, with the instruments going from nice music to something that sounded soothing and beautiful. With the change, the airmen lined up in front of the door and raised their swords. Janet came through first. Dressed in shimmering ice blue satin with an overdress of sapphire blue lace, she looked lovely. She smiled at Malek, her partner for the day, as she walked beneath the raised swords towards the gate. Anise followed and she too was lovely in the blue on blue. She smiled towards Daniel as she, too, passed under the upraised swords. He acknowledged her with a smile in return.

Once again, the music changed and became hauntingly lovely. Sam and her father entered to walk between the raised swords of the airmen. The General wore his Air Force uniform and beside him, a vision in deep blue satin and lace, stood Samantha. The full-skirted satin gown, hugged her body. The deep vee'd neckline hinted at things, as did the deep vee in the back. The long tight sleeves ended in long points on the back of her hands. Dozens of tiny buttons made there way down her back and on the sleeves they climbed to her elbows. Her blond hair shone like a golden cap, and her blue eyes reflected the deep blue of her dress. She carried a bouquet of deep red roses, blue carnations, and baby's breath.

Jack's breath caught in his throat at the stunning picture she made. He looked down, as Kynthia's hand made its way into his, and she looked at him and smiled. Squeezing her hand, he smiled back at her. Dreams were just dreams, sometimes reality was better.

"_She is lovely is she not, Martouf?"_ Lantash asked, as they caught sight of their Samantha, as she entered on her father's arm. _"It is truly a wonder that we have found her and that she agreed to be our mate. Never will she regret this day,"_ He vowed to Martouf.

"_She is, Lantash, and I agree. I do not know what we have done to deserve such as she, but I am thankful that it is so, and I will strive every day to ensure that her life with us is as full of joy as possible. We both will, I know." _Watching her walking toward them, her beauty shining in her face, her smile for them alone, Martouf almost forgot to breathe and so did Lantash.

"_Martouf! We must breathe,"_ Lantash said, faintly.

"_Yes, we must," _Martouf replied, as he took a deep breath and watched as she neared them.

As Jacob and Sam stopped at the top of the ramp, she and Martouf first faced one another and bowed their heads in a respectful gesture to each other. They turned together with Jacob between them and stepped forward until the Stargate framed them, their attendants on either side of them. General Hammond and Garshaw stepped forward, and the music stopped.

The General started the service, "We have gathered here today, to share in the joy of Samantha, Martouf, and Lantash. They have asked that their friends be here to witness that which they have to say to one another as they give their pledges, one to the other."

Garshaw then stepped forward, to say, "Martouf and Lantash desire to join their lives with Samantha as Samantha desires to join her life to theirs. With respect and joy, we will listen as they speak. Be silent, and witness with reverence, the stating of their vows."

Sam and Martouf bowed to Garshaw and General Hammond. Then they turned to Jacob who took the deep red rose from his lapel and kissed it before placing it into Sam's bouquet. Leaning forward, he kissed her gently, then taking her hand in his, he reached for Martouf's and placed her hand in his. Looking at him, he said, "Not even life itself is more precious to me than this woman whom I now give into your keeping. I ask that you love her, honor her, and cherish her, all the days of your lives as the most precious of any gift you've ever received."

Looking first to Samantha and then to Jacob, Martouf answered, his voice alive with emotion, "We will. Never will any gift be more loved or more precious to us." Bowing to them, Jacob stepped to the side as Sam turned to give her bouquet to Anise. She turned back to Martouf and Lantash and gave them her other hand.

Clasping their hands tightly, she looked into their eyes and said clearly, and firmly, her voice filled with the love she had for them, "I, Samantha, take thee, Martouf, to be my bonded mate, my husband. I promise to love you, and honor you, to cherish you, and respect you, all the days of my life."

"Freely, I give my heart into your keeping, knowing this love of ours will endure and grow, and you will both nourish and protect it."

"I promise to give to you comfort, support, and strength. I promise to share your sorrows, your joys, your hopes, and your fears. I will laugh with you, and I will cry with you."

"I pledge to you that the day will not dawn that I do not yearn to touch you and hear your voice, nor will the night come that I do not long for you by my side, for I believe that we belong together. You are my other half, and you have made me whole."

"Forever and always, until our time together is no more, I vow to keep myself only unto you, to worship you with my body, and love you with my heart."

"From this day forward, you, Martouf, are my love, and my life, my partner, my husband, and my mate, forever and always. Into eternity, I love you."

Taking a deep breath and clasping her hands tighter, if that was possible, he smiled almost shyly at her, as he said in a clear, but slightly shaking voice. "I, Martouf, take thee, Samantha, to be my bonded mate, my wife. I promise to love you, and honor you, to cherish you, and respect you, all the days of my life."

"Freely, I give my heart into your keeping, as I accept yours into mine, knowing this love of ours will endure and grow, and you will both nourish and protect it."

"I promise to give to you comfort, support, and strength. I promise to share your sorrows, your joys, your hopes, and your fears. I will laugh with you, and I will cry with you."

"I pledge to you that the day will not dawn that I do not yearn to touch you and hear your voice, nor will the night come that I do not long for you by my side, for I believe that we belong together. You are my other half, and you have made me whole."

"Forever and always, until our time together is no more, I vow to keep myself only unto you, to worship you with my body, and love you with my heart."

"From this day forward, you, Samantha, are my love, and my life, my partner, my wife, and my mate, forever and always. My heart belongs to you, and it will be yours into eternity. I love you." Bowing his head, Lantash took control and prepared to speak his vows, but Samantha halted him, with a slight shake of her head.

She said softly, but again, clearly and firmly, "I, Samantha, take thee, Lantash, to be my bonded mate, my husband. I promise to love you, and honor you, to cherish you, and respect you, all the days of my life…"

"…From this day forward, you, Lantash, are my love, and my life, my partner, my husband, and my mate, forever and always. I love and accept you, in all your diverse beauty, today, tomorrow, and on into eternity. I love you."

Lantash could be clearly heard, his voice husky with emotion, his tones even deeper than usual, as he said, "I, Lantash, take thee, Samantha, to be my bonded mate, my wife. I promise to love you, and honor you, to cherish you, and respect you, all the days of my life…"

"…From this day forward, you, Samantha, are my love, and my life, my partner, my wife, and my mate, forever and always. I vow to you that never will you have cause to regret this day, as long as I draw breath to see to it that it is so. I love you."

As he finished speaking, Sam smiled at Lantash, unashamed of the tears she wasn't even trying to control, and then turned to Anise who handed her something. She turned back to Lantash and taking his left hand in hers, she said. "I, Samantha, give unto thee, Lantash, and thee, Martouf, this ring, as a symbol of my eternal love and devotion. As the circle is unending and eternal, so is my love for both of you. Please wear my pledge to thee as the outward symbol of my vows to you."

It was obvious to everyone in the room that Lantash had not been expecting this. Evidently, he had not been expecting what the ring depicted either. The wide gold band had sculpted into it, two hearts bracketing the symbols for a man and a symbiote, who in turn had between them, the symbol of a woman. Inside the inscription read, "Come, be one with me, S.C. He touched it reverently.

Still speechless, he looked blankly at Daniel when he handed him something, and indicated that he must do something. Struggling to gain control of his emotions, he took it, then he looked at Samantha, and seeing her smile at him so lovingly, he finally found his voice, and remembered what he was supposed to do.

His voice, deeply husky and raw with emotion, he said, "We, Lantash and Martouf, give to thee, Samantha, this ring as a symbol of our eternal love and devotion. It is with hearts full of love that we ask you to wear this circle, the symbol for eternity, for that is how long our love for thee will live. Please wear our pledge to thee as the outward symbol of our vows to you."

As he slipped the beautiful diamond and sapphire ring onto her finger, the General stepped forward, and said, "In as much as Samantha, Martouf, and Lantash have spoken their vows, one to the other, exchanged rings as tokens of their love, and had us to witness this, it is with great joy and pleasure that I declare that they are now joined, as is the custom of both the Tau'ri and the Tok'Ra." He waited for a moment, then said softly, "Well, go ahead, son. You may kiss your bride." Lantash and Martouf didn't need to be told twice. They lowered their lips to hers and kissed her deeply, completely lost to the music and the applause that was greeting their newly formed bond. He and Martouf changed places seamlessly so that they both shared this first kiss in their newly formed estate.

Daniel watched with a small smile playing about his lips, as Martouf cradled Sam and murmured to her, so softly and gently, that Daniel could not hear him. He watched as Sam blushed, as people began to come up and congratulate them.

As things calmed down and people went over to get some food or something to drink, Samantha Carter leaned her head against Martouf's chest and sighed her love to him. As he kissed her gently, she remembered what Narim had said; When angels fall, they just need time and help to recover. When they were healed, they soared again. She was going to be all right.

She looked over at Daniel as he stood with Anise, some of the Tok'Ra, and her team. He lifted his glass in a silent salute to her. She'd be fine, just as he had promised her. This fallen angel was about to take flight.

Turning to the ones who were the wind beneath her wings, she held out her hand and they clasped it. _They _were going to soar.

_Together._

_The End._


End file.
